New Federal Holidays

The Federal Government has recently launched a "pay more get less" program at the direction of the new, Democratically controlled Congress. Income and payroll taxes will be raised 10% to cover new Federal holidays. The "Pay More Get Less Act" takes effect immediately, and includes observation of the following, new holidays in 2007:

+11.29- Solar System Day
+11.30- Petroleum Day
+12.06- Thanksgiving*
+12.07- Canadian Bacon Day
+12.13- Mexican Flag Day**
+12.14- Pervez Musharraf Day
+12.19- We're Getting Close to the "Holidays" Day
+12.20- Now We're Even Closer to the "Holidays" Day
+12.21- Solstice

...And in 2008:

+01.02- Oh No! Retailers' Weak Receipts/Here Comes the Recession Day
+01.22- White People Aren't Cool Day
+02.04- 02.08- SATURDAY***

* On 11.22.07 the Federal Government erroneously celebrated "Pilgrim Day" which is different from Thanksgiving. To correct that error, Thanksgiving will be celebrated on 12.06.07 as a makeup.

** Mexican Flag Day is observed the week after Canadian Bacon Day as required by the "Pay More Get Less Act's" NAFTA provision. It is essentially an attempt to keep Mexico from getting jealous and all bent out of shape about Canadian Bacon Day. Mexicans have always felt their bacon was just as good as, or even better, than the Canadians'. In an effort to avoid a modern day "Alamo" Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D- CA) brokered Mexican Flag Day. In return Mexico agreed to allow the Canadians to lay claim to the "Best Bacon" title and, in turn, to allow the U.S. to observe Canadian Bacon Day.

*** Everyone loves Saturday so much, the United States has decided to create an entire week of Saturdays.