Apparel Problem

Imbecile

What is wrong with this individual? Many amongst us resent someone with these sort of natural good looks, but that's not his biggest problem. His biggest problem is that he wears the logos of two teams in conjunction, a critical error in judgement.

Time and time again, this fashion faux pas rears it's ugly head. Who are these imbeciles, who, when planning their ensemble for a public outing, choose to wear two logos? Do their mothers lay these outfits out on their beds for them? It's just sick and wrong.

Read one (of many) of the Cliff Blog's fashion laws, here and now:

+NEVER, under any circumstances, do you wear two logos at once.
+There is no exception for "God's teams," the Cincinnati Reds, and UK (basketball) Wildcats!
+All other logos are included. For instance, a NASCAR ball cap with a San Diego Chargers TShirt is just as unacceptable.
+Sneaker logos should match any other athletic clothing logos. Adidas sneakers are acceptable with an Adidas cap. Adidas sneakers are not acceptable with a Nike cap.
+Sneaker logos are pervasive. Any sneaker logo is acceptable with any other, single, non athletic logo. For instance, Adidas sneakers are acceptable with a Cincinnati Reds cap.
+Multiple logos can be displayed if they are for the same team. For instance, a Cincinnati Reds TShirt is acceptable with a Cincinnati Reds cap.
+Any Bengalberry logo is unacceptable, inexcusable, and downright preposterous. You're basically saying, "Look at me, I have no ability to reason. I support millionaire thugs and their babysitters."

Unfortunately, there is an enforcement issue involved here. The Cliff Blog lacks the authority to correct this moronic behavior. So, you will be on your own to "self regulate" (kinda like Wall St). But, know this: should you fail and violate this fundamental fashion law, others will sneer, chuckle, and possibly prejudge you (correctly) as a clown of the highest degree.

Shoe Confidential

The Scene: a HOT summer's day, July 2006, in a suburban strip mall: a table of "clearance" shoes. The shoes are piled high like some sort of podiatry land fill.

The Protagonist: your humble blogger, of course, shoe size: 13.

The Purchase: for $20, steel toed, size 13, waterproof winter boots (its 95degrees outside after all).

This will forever be known as the greatest shoe bargain ever found. Size 13s are rare and this "out of season" score belongs in the shoe shopping hall of fame.

fashion plate

setting fashion trends is one of this blogger's core competencies. for example, reflect back to the "floral with plaid" craze from the summer of 2005.

that was me. i started that.

"floral with plaid" got so big, that by summer 2006 EVERYONE was doing it. but follow the fad from it's roots: the 2006 crowd was behind the curve, and i had already moved into a more avante garde application. sycophants, "floral with plaid" was sooo 2005.

however, this memorial day weekend (2007), i witnessed something that gave me pause- a manchild, in "plaid with camoflauge". nice job.

to you, manchild, congratulations. but, staying on top in the fashion world is the hard part. enjoy this victory, but fashion moves quickly, and this blogger moves quicker. can you smell what j-pac is cooking?