Grocery Strategy

+NEVER, under any circumstances, go to the grocery on the 1st or 15th of the month.

+Upon entering the grocery, head directly to the deli (if deli items are desired and there isn't one of them new fangled computer deli ordering doodads up front). It's possible you will find NO ONE in line and can get your items quickly. Afterward, you can double back to the produce section.

+Go ahead and walk the entire store, every aisle, unless you're on a beer run. Otherwise, there's no reason to turn into "provisions commando," targeting only those items in your head. Go through each aisle, methodically, it might jog your memory about something you need. For instance, the pet food aisle might remind you that you have a dog.

+Go to the grocery on a regular basis, so that you can stock your pantry. If a snow storm or some other hazard comes about, you'll be ready. You can even skip occasions when everyone else is going bonkers because someone 80miles away saw a snowflake.

+When approaching the check out lanes, you may as well be trying to read tea leaves relative to which lane will get you out of there the quickest. Clearly, you should obey the express lane rules. Other than that, the only advice here is that if you have alcohol in your cart, look for a lane with an older scanner. Otherwise, you can wind up with a teenybopper that needs to call in a senior scanner for your booze, which can hold things up.

+Times change, and apparently, those that take the store up on "paper or plastic"? are now oucasts. If you want to avoid the dirty looks, better get on the politically correct train to owning your own (reusable) grocery bags.

Back from the dead

Everyone knows they are a different person
Five years from now.

Who would have thought that I would return to that place,
That location, in five years?
Not only different, but better.

Much better.

Post It Rant

If you write on a post-it note, you should remove the sheet you write on. This is the design of the post-it note. It is FUNDAMENTAL. If you're keeping a journal, diary, etc, then get a notepad. I get highly annoyed [sic] when I want to use a nearby post-it note, only to find I must remove the top sheet, make my notes on the next sheet, remove that sheet, then replace the top sheet (aka the BULL sheet) so someone else returns to a post-it note stack which appears undisturbed.

So, next time, I'm throwing the top sheet in the shredder, and you'll be on your own to remember to restock on Tuck's Pads when you're at the supermarket.

ScatterBrain

Let's take a look at a common definition of the term "quantum entanglement."

Quantum entanglement, also called the quantum non-local connection, is a possible property of a quantum mechanical state of a system of two or more objects in which the quantum states of the constituting objects are linked together so that one object can no longer be adequately described without full mention of its counterpart—even if the individual objects are spatially separated in a spacelike manner. This interconnection leads to non-classical correlations between observable physical properties of remote systems, often referred to as nonlocal correlations.

HEAVY. Thanks Wikipedia, you're the best.

***
In more understandable terms, we think quantum engtanglement demonstrates the speed of information. Distance, as we understand it, is irrelevant to entangled particles. If you change the spin of the particle nearest you, it's remote, entangled particle also changes spin, instantly. It changes instantly whether it is in the next room, or across the universe, or in another universe, or in another dimension, or in another time period.

Here's more: the speed of light doesn't even come close to the speed of information, because light is a part of our *same old same old* 3D world and therefore it is beholden to d=rt. Quantum particles, on the other hand, come and go from this universe, this dimension, this time, as they please.

The brain is a quantum computer made up of myriad quantum particles. Scads of this myriad (eat your heart out cliff blog!) are entangled.

During the wake (online) periods, a critical mass of the brain's material interacts in a given universe, in a given dimension, and in a given time period. We call this consciousness.

Additionally, this single brain/quantum computer, is online (conscious) simultaneously with a multitude of other brains/quantum computers. And all online brains agree to local laws of physics perceptible by their senses. For instance, "there is a 40ton boulder located at X & Y and we all agree that you can't go through it." This collective, conscious group, constructs the physical world around us at any given instant.

Stay with me.

It's in the sleep periods that things get interesting. During sleep cycles, the brain can leave it's universe/dimension/time for other universes/dimensions/times it is entangled with. Those destinations, as Hugh Everett's "Many Worlds Theory" would have you believe, are all possible realities, including one where your first boss at the insurance company wears a "rat tail" and operates a UHaul rental location in the countryside, and you're renting a UHaul from him instead of working for him and while you're there a fight breaks out amongst his employees in this large field behind the place.

That "UHaul Universe" DOES exist, and is just as real for the individuals in it, as this blog is to the universe you're in right now (although many probably wish they could purge this blog from their universe). In any event, the "UHaul Universe" was an entangled voyage of the brain, a 1st person view through the senses of a conscious being existing there.

Furthermore, we have a name for these entangled voyages of the brain during sleep cycles:

dreams
Finally, certain dreams take place with universe and dimension held constant, but during a time in the future. After the dream, you reach this point in time as an online, conscious being, and you have the feeling, "I've been here before." We call this:

déjà vu

Disposable Duality

Something about joining FB ruined the appetite to write here. Don't know what it is, but check the date and time, almost down to the hour, and you will find the correlation.

By the time you read this, a promise will have been fulfilled: release this now, don't keep writing and sitting on what you write. Release it, NAKED.

So, enough of that. Something to chew on:

A disposable society must eventually deal with the duality of said disposable items- their harm, and their benefit.

Take, for instance, the ubiquitous nature of the grocery bag. These days, it's not unusual to find grocery people with their own bags. Their message? "I'm not going to take advantage of the disposable option at this place."

Not bad, cliff blog commends you.

However, these perpetual bags lack certain value(s), and in that you find yourself in the duality again.

Let's say the grillbilly fires it up, and keeps a disposable, Kroghetto bag nearby for the trash. The bag was reused, but wound up in the landfill anyway. Does perpetual bagman or perpetual bagwoman have this option?

Perpetual bagman and perpetual bagwoman have to bring the trash can close to the grill. Does that present a fire hazard?

A: Depends on circumstances.
That tangent aside, the fact is, that in order to use less, one has to work more. Do YOU think your countrymen are working more these days? It would appear that the perception of, "I'm affluent too" has spun out of control and, as a result, not many are willing to take on even the most ephemeral responsibility.

CODA
Goodbye July 2K9, it was nice living in your beautiful grace- BIG FAN.

Checkout

No one ever pays any attention to the light. Go ahead and turn your light off, it won't make any difference, because if there is a clerk scanning groceries, people are going to line up.

What does this tell you? It tells me you should keep that checkout lane open, and it tells you the same thing.

So, take your smoke break after the rush is over- or better yet, skip the smoke break and bring some carts in from the parking lot.

Pigeons are at it again

This is just despicable. This photo debunks the idea that bird droppings are random. For crying out loud! Look at that pigeon! It has intent and clearly knows what it's doing.

...and, as if that wasn't bad enough- children? C'mon!

I can no longer look the other way on the statue defecation, but I can look the other way when the Bengalberry stadium is concerned. A blog must stay consistent, afterall.

Somehow, this little boy must be avenged, Bengalberry fans excepted.

Feckless Gov

The inverse of "too big to fail" is "too small to succeed" which seems to be apropos given what the U.S. government has been up to recently.

This humble blogger suggests that what really needs to fail here is the biggest one of them all, the U.S. government itself. Maybe the "failure v. size" thesis needs some modification?

The self employed are "too small to succeed." Confiscate what they have.
AIG, BofA, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac are "too big to fail." Bail them out.
The U.S. government is "so big it should fail." Nah, start another program.

But seriously, the question must be asked, "who bails out the bailer outters?"

***
Consumer debt EQUALS GDP these days so remarks such as "credit is the lifeblood of the economy" are not entirely accurate. What follows, "we need to get the banks lending again" is also an over simplification. The system currently in place has lead to this malfeasance and it's time for it to stop.

When it does, one would assume gov's confiscations will also stop, and that everyone will get paid under the table. You know, like the drug dealers do.

The drug dealers seem to have built a pretty good distribution network, unencumbered by taxation, while we pay taxes to try and chase them down, to try and incarcerate them. I wonder if the drug dealers are "too big to fail?" I wonder if they will survive the collapse of gov?

Crank of America at $1.50/share? BUY!
DopeCo at $1.75/share? BUY!
Crackie Mac at $2.00/share? BUY!
Methie Mae at $2.25/share? BUY!

***
The operation that was "too small to succeed" will, in fact, flourish, for it is that operation that actually DOES something in this world. Going up and up the hierarchy, where you reach top elected officials, the Wall Street crowd, et al. results in a clueless class that operates solely in abstractions.

The clueless class benefits only if they can maintain the status quo. A status quo that, everywhere you look, seems more and more like a Madoff Ponzi scheme.

Ponzi scheme? I'll give you a Ponzi scheme, it's called Social Security. Social Security is the mother of all bailouts and is also where this is all heading. China will VETO that bailout, and the U.S. will fall.

Let's just get it over with...

The Fountain of Nonsense

A post office is next door to a laundromat. Thats apparent from the exterior. Even a 2 yr old could look at the post office and make the appropriate synaptic connections required to determine that, indeed, a laundromat is nextdoor.

But, step into the post office and you forget that the laundromat is nextdoor. Maybe it has something to do with the fact, that as you approach the post office, the laundromat moves from your direct vision to your peripheral vision, then it moves completely out of your field of vision as you get to the line drawn by the 10ft radius from the door of the post office. And, really, that only applies if you come in perpendicular, like from the gas station.

So, you're inside the post office,

	and maybe you've been going to this post office for 10yrs
	and maybe you've always noticed that it smelled really nice in there.

***
When something is taken for granted, obliviousness, such as a life in the "land of plenty" or a "nice smell"...well, it really hurts to have the tables turned.

***
At what point do you change into your "stretchies" after work? This question does not apply to my "scrubs" friends.

Sometimes I find myself in work clothes several hours after the shift.

***
Donelda "lived vertical" and, at times this simple fact of her life made her feel like she was "losing her mind". For instance, there were countless occasions when she felt the need to go to a different floor of her home. However, upon arriving on the alternate floor, she immediately forgot why she had used the stairs in the first place.

Was she there to fetch paper clips, or a screw driver, or a screwdriver? Bewildered, she often found other, less immediate things to do on that floor- with the hope the original intention would resurface. If it didn't, she could find herself back on the floor where she started, only to undergo a "deja vu" by being back in that environment. This could eventually turn into a sisyphus style experience:

:LOOP
remember, stairs, forget, stairs
:goto LOOP

No need to make a comment like, "Hey Donelda, keep things such as paperclips, screw drivers, and screwdrivers on every floor!" She's already done that, genius.

Furthermore, she doesn't use "goto" when she programs either. It's only a hypothetical to describe the sisyphus thing, dig?

***
Scrubs, by the way, are a compromise between employees and management. Employees, outside of those that actually provide healthcare, like the generous fit (fer crying out loud, they're like wearing pajamas!) and employers, at one time, had to keep them happy.

***
In the end, it's really critical to write something, anything. Those that cannot write, cannot live [completely].


***
WARNING: This fountain never goes off.

Man of the Year

Chesley B. Sullenberger III

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
Well, maybe land like a plane with Canadian Geese in it's engines, anyway...
for you are the water beneath my wings.

Apparel Problem

Imbecile

What is wrong with this individual? Many amongst us resent someone with these sort of natural good looks, but that's not his biggest problem. His biggest problem is that he wears the logos of two teams in conjunction, a critical error in judgement.

Time and time again, this fashion faux pas rears it's ugly head. Who are these imbeciles, who, when planning their ensemble for a public outing, choose to wear two logos? Do their mothers lay these outfits out on their beds for them? It's just sick and wrong.

Read one (of many) of the Cliff Blog's fashion laws, here and now:

+NEVER, under any circumstances, do you wear two logos at once.
+There is no exception for "God's teams," the Cincinnati Reds, and UK (basketball) Wildcats!
+All other logos are included. For instance, a NASCAR ball cap with a San Diego Chargers TShirt is just as unacceptable.
+Sneaker logos should match any other athletic clothing logos. Adidas sneakers are acceptable with an Adidas cap. Adidas sneakers are not acceptable with a Nike cap.
+Sneaker logos are pervasive. Any sneaker logo is acceptable with any other, single, non athletic logo. For instance, Adidas sneakers are acceptable with a Cincinnati Reds cap.
+Multiple logos can be displayed if they are for the same team. For instance, a Cincinnati Reds TShirt is acceptable with a Cincinnati Reds cap.
+Any Bengalberry logo is unacceptable, inexcusable, and downright preposterous. You're basically saying, "Look at me, I have no ability to reason. I support millionaire thugs and their babysitters."

Unfortunately, there is an enforcement issue involved here. The Cliff Blog lacks the authority to correct this moronic behavior. So, you will be on your own to "self regulate" (kinda like Wall St). But, know this: should you fail and violate this fundamental fashion law, others will sneer, chuckle, and possibly prejudge you (correctly) as a clown of the highest degree.

Wildlife, the U.S. Mint, and trivia during the Silly Season

Intro- during the trip south for the silly season, some minutiae occurred...

Rolling down 75S in a torrential down pour on twelve twenty four can be hazardous to your health. But twelve twenty four is what it is, and after arriving safe and sound, which was even money at the outset of the ride, the annual ceremonies commenced in sequence. Amidst all that fal-duh-ral, various ephemeral cash transactions were made. You know the types of goods and services, everyday stuff at the Speedway or Taco Tico or Marika's on Southland (no website! tsk tsk).

Ah, livin was easy. Something tells me that, in the future, maybe the near future, I will look back on weekends of Speedway, Taco Tico, and Marika's with a fondness for something lost. But, that is a separate issue altogether.

This blog entry will not address that issue, this entry has to do with some obscurity involving said ephemeral cash transactions. More specifically, the state quarters received as change during a Taco Tico feedbag pickup (3 hard tacos/volcano sauce, 2 combo burritos/hot sauce).

Have a look at these state quarters:

Change Given

On the left, a quarter representing South Dakota. On the right, a quarter representing Oklahoma. Fine enough, but what else is going on here? Is that the same bird? Does this bird appear on any other state quarters? Is this bird tasty?

More questions than answers for the time being. The various relatives and friends that appeared, disappeared, reappeared and finally disappeared (into my rear view mirror) had no answers to these questions and moreover, seemed largely underwhelmed by the observation itself.

Fine enough.

Returning home to a subsequent visit from an esteemed colleague lead to all sorts of information. The esteemed colleague spoke with authority on the matter of the two birdies:

+Although similar, the two are NOT identical.
+South Dakota's quarter depicts the red ringtail pheasant.
+Oklahoma's quarter depicts the longtail pheasant.
+The longtail is distinguished from the red ringtail by it's pointed wings.
+Whether or not either appears on a third state quarter is unknown. Conventional wisdom says- probably not.
+Neither birdie is all that tasty.

For those curious about the world, take this information with you and always examine your change closely- not just for pheasants, but to make sure it adds up to what you were expecting.

Confucius Wisdom

Grasshoppa-
When undergoing prep for colonoscopy, remember to duct tape legs to toilet seat. Otherwise you suffer "space shuttle effect" and end up beyond moon.

Big Stinky Mess

Recently the talking heads on TV and the man on the street seem to be conveying the idea that the economy is all about the stock market. That, if we can just do something, anything to get the stock market to go UP on a daily basis, then we have ourselves a healthy economy- truly a ridiculous notion.

The bad news is, it's not that easy. The NYSE, NASDAQ, and other trading markets, in and of themselves, are not our "ECONOMY". Rather, they are reactionary indicators of the economic climate. Furthermore, they always lead, which is to say they are short term predictors.

Given that the markets are indicators/predictors, what they are currently telling us is that they believe the good ole USA is BROKE BROKE BROKE! Let's face it, there is a mountain of debt in this country, both public and private, and much of it is unsecured.

So, let's take our medicine this time, as opposed to throwing more unsecured debt at the already unsecured debt. "Taking our medicine" includes letting the automotive industry die, since their products, and the infrastructure we've built around them, are a huge part of our problem.



MMVIII = BAD YEAR

More than Ponies

On a recent excursion through the miserable state of Kentucky, I noticed a sign, posted by said state, promoting the "Kentucky Bourbon Trail". My initial surprise that the sign was unrelated to ponies quickly turned to bewilderment when I contemplated the hypocrisy evident in the "Bourbon Trail" marketecture. On the one hand, Kentucky strictly forbids drinking and driving, on the other, the "Bourbon Trail" is little more than a bunch of hard liquor distilleries clustered along Interstate 64.

Furthermore, this ambiguity exists in the state that was the scene of the nation's worst drunk driving accident.

***

Subsequently, I visited the bourbon trail website and discovered the following logo:



Check it out, it's a cartoonish rendering of a couple bourbon barrels rolling down a highway. What an image!

Continued exploration of the website revealed the following:



That's right, a spelling error! The webmaster is probably loaded on bourbon!

Be careful citizens, the webmaster hops in an automobile and drives home around 5p...

What your brain does not want to admit

Time does not move in a straight line, it turns corners.

Virtue

Kunstler

I've recently been hooked on the Jim Kunstler podcast. Here is one of my favorite "episodes".

***

In his book "The Geography of Nowhere" (1990), Jim altered me as profoundly as the film "Koyaanisqatsi" but with a much different message. I guess I would consider myself a disciple of his and I partially attribute "The Geography of Nowhere" with my unwillingness to move to the burbs and my reluctance to even visit the burbs, of Cincinnati or anywhere else, for that matter. As if the suburbs of Cincinnati were any different from anywhere else (the point of the book, duh).

A side note, Barack Obama's statement, "I'm not interested in the suburbs. The suburbs bore me." helps dull the pain of his recent victory.

***

Kunstler's blog (for my 21st century, computer literate, feed reader friends) is here. It far surpasses mine in terms of the ability to communicate the idea of how screwed up the world is right now.

TW pays Bronson

Funny you should ask that, Bronson. You see, I ditched cable around 5yrs ago when they raised my rate from $42/month to $50/month while simultaneously removing my favorite college basketball team's regional coverage from their lineup.

Now, here's a question for you- did you know that you kinda look like a lady?

I guess that's cool with me, as long as you throw strikes in 2009.

Perfection

An article referencing Tom Browning's perfect game can be found here. Near the end of the article, Tom Browning addresses the subject of how many people were in the stands after the 2hour 27minute rain delay.

***

Tom, there weren't many, but I can name four:

Akbar Hasan, Blaine Ott, Dan Hall, and one of their 18yr old buddies who had driven them from Lexington to Cincinnati that night and from time to time makes blog entrys here.

So, thanks, cause that was a really cool thing to see.