Fun with Postage

Whoa, whoa, whoa...slow down. Where does the stamp go again? I can't figure it out.

New Federal Holidays

The Federal Government has recently launched a "pay more get less" program at the direction of the new, Democratically controlled Congress. Income and payroll taxes will be raised 10% to cover new Federal holidays. The "Pay More Get Less Act" takes effect immediately, and includes observation of the following, new holidays in 2007:

+11.29- Solar System Day
+11.30- Petroleum Day
+12.06- Thanksgiving*
+12.07- Canadian Bacon Day
+12.13- Mexican Flag Day**
+12.14- Pervez Musharraf Day
+12.19- We're Getting Close to the "Holidays" Day
+12.20- Now We're Even Closer to the "Holidays" Day
+12.21- Solstice

...And in 2008:

+01.02- Oh No! Retailers' Weak Receipts/Here Comes the Recession Day
+01.22- White People Aren't Cool Day
+02.04- 02.08- SATURDAY***

* On 11.22.07 the Federal Government erroneously celebrated "Pilgrim Day" which is different from Thanksgiving. To correct that error, Thanksgiving will be celebrated on 12.06.07 as a makeup.

** Mexican Flag Day is observed the week after Canadian Bacon Day as required by the "Pay More Get Less Act's" NAFTA provision. It is essentially an attempt to keep Mexico from getting jealous and all bent out of shape about Canadian Bacon Day. Mexicans have always felt their bacon was just as good as, or even better, than the Canadians'. In an effort to avoid a modern day "Alamo" Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D- CA) brokered Mexican Flag Day. In return Mexico agreed to allow the Canadians to lay claim to the "Best Bacon" title and, in turn, to allow the U.S. to observe Canadian Bacon Day.

*** Everyone loves Saturday so much, the United States has decided to create an entire week of Saturdays.

I'm OK, You're OK

Hamilton County, OHIO says this man is "mentally ill" *sic*. Cliftonite agrees and would go one step further- he also appears to be:

+nuts
+crazy
+a whacko
+a loon ball
+insane
+a crackpot
+fruity
+a lunatic
+cuckoo
+a ding-a-ling
+a dingbat
+a screwball
+a weirdo
+a freakshow
+a little "off"
+bonkers
+gaga
+bananas
+loco
+a couple sandwiches short of a picnic
+all of the above

Food item: Wendy's Grilled Chicken Wrap

Categories had to be created in order to review the Wendy's Grilled Chicken Wrap. This is not unlike the Oscars or the Grammys and so if THEY can do it, this BLOG can do it.

The review:

+Affordability- 5/5- The Wendy's Grilled Chicken Wrap was priced at $1.49 at my local Wendy's and was sold WITHOUT sales tax- EXCELLENT. This was the best thing about the wrap, since it was a nice lunch portion. At dinner, I would recommend 2.
+Flavor- 3.5/5- The chicken wrap did not taste BADLY, however, it will not be a flavor to remember. There were no surprises here- cheese & grilled chicken with iceburg lettuce inside a tortilla the size of a toilet seat lid. Some hot sauce/salsa/peppers/onions could have helped here. There was a hint of terayaki, but it did not rise to the occasion.
+Texture- 3.5/5- Again, no surprises. The wrap could have used a crouton or two for some crunch! Or, maybe a couple pine nuts.
+Overall- I'm going to give the wrap 4/5...romaine lettuce or some other variety could help this item immensely.

The favorable rating is based mainly on the Affordability category.

Trip to GABP

Summer will never be the same again...

Nuxhall

The last time I saw Joe Nuxhall he was leading the world's largest chicken dance at 2007 Oktoberfest. He had about six UC cheerleaders on the stage with him at Fountain Square. It looked like he was having a blast.

Hey Spammer, how we lookin?

Here is a link to a Perl script I'm hosting:

http://www.moderncs.net/contact.duh/userinfo.now

Click it and you will notice it generates random e-mail addresses and random links to MORE random e-mail addresses. When the spammers crawl webpages like this one, they get fake e-mail addresses mixed into their databases. Furthermore, when their spider (web crawling) programs follow the links, what do they get? MORE FAKE E-MAIL ADDRESSES! This can go on forever if their spiders don't figure it out.

If you have a webpage or blog, you should LINK to this page:

http://www.moderncs.net/contact.duh/userinfo.now

The spammers will NOT like you, but the rest of us will!

dumerican

dumerican \də-'mər-ə-kən, -'mər-, -'mar-, -i-kən\ n (2007) 1 : a citizen of Dumerica 2 : compound word referring to a DUMb citizen of the country amERICA who is preoccupied with conspicuous consumption

usage:

"Those Dumericans think driving hybrids and widening roads is a transportation plan for the future."

"Seems like all the Dumericans care about is what time Dumerican Idol comes on the telly."

"We the Dumericans, in order to form a more screwed up union, establish strip malls, insure low savings rates and high personal debt, provide for the lowest cultural denominator (most importantly: bad music), promote obesity, and secure the excesses of gluttony to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of Dumerica.

INDIANapolis, INDIANa reprise

The blog has received more suggestions for the renaming of INDIANapolis, INDIANa to a more politically correct, not to mention a more accurate, moniker:

+whatauselessinterstatesystemapolis, icantbelieveisurvivedthatiana?
+stillboringapolis, darkholeofdeathiana?

To this anonymous emailer- Thank You. Mayor Bart Peterson will be notified.

Snifftonite- Bizarre Love Triangle?

[Thread is reversed- snifftonite]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Doggett, Erica
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 12:09 PM
To: Randy Oswald
Subject:

Are you not talking to me?
Erica Doggett
Premier Health Care
937-312-3751
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Randy Oswald [mailto:Randy@RandyOswald.net]
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 12:48 PM
To: Doggett, Erica
Subject: RE:

I thought we covered that.
-------------------------------------------------------
From: Doggett, Erica
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 12:50 PM
To: Randy Oswald
Subject: RE:

You whatevered me but you didn't really say whether or not you were busy hating me forever. So I'm still not sure.
-------------------------------------------------------
From: Randy Oswald [mailto:Randy@RandyOswald.net]
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 3:21 PM
To: Doggett, Erica
Subject: RE:

I didnt just whatever you, i said very specifically that what you were doing was ridiculous and completely unnecessary.
-------------------------------------------------------
On Nov 6, 2007, at 4:23 PM, Doggett, Erica wrote:
I'm not entirely sure what necessary has to do with anything. Are you really not talking to me over a house guest [her ex-husband- snifftonite] that you deem unnecessary?
-------------------------------------------------------
are you really pretending not to see that it's not remotely as trivial as you just summarized it to be?
i'm well aware that you're a much smarter girl than that. dont insult MY intelligence by trying that.
--------------------------------------------------------
----- Original Message -----
From: Doggett, Erica
To: Randy Oswald
Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2007 11:55 AM
Subject: RE: RE:


I do not see this at all as a trivial matter dear. Nor was it my intention to proceed without considering your feelings.

However, since you seem so intent on doing the vague and unavailable thing, you have made it quite difficult for me to be considerate of feelings that I have no way of knowing about. So unless you'd actually like to talk about this, which I doubt judging from your history of talk-dodging, I'm not entirely sure what you want me to do.

Just Lovely

+Brought the plants in from the porch
+Rode stationary bike (indoor)

NEXT
...Snow, ice, & road salt
...4hrs of daylight
...heating bills

Why 2007? Why? You used to be fun.