Thursday, September 6, 2007

Real Men of (Notso) Genius

Today we salute you- Mr. Bengalberry Jersey Wearer
-MR. BENGALBERRY JERSEY WEARER!

Your NFL franchise, in conjunction with a spurious County Commissioner, financially bilked your community
-WHAT TIME DOES TAILGATING START?

You eschew common clothing trends and put on colors more suitable for children
-9AM IS PERFECT TO START DRINKING!

You paid a 250% markup on the garment
-BUT HEY! IT'S OFFICIALLY LICENSED!

Your beloved Bengalberries have only had one winning season in the past 16yrs
-LUV ME SOME OCHO CINCO! WHO DEY?

"DEY" are the brutal thugs who abuse women, brandish firearms, and can't spell
-BUT IT'S FUN TO SCREAM WHEN I'M LOADED!

So, heres to you, Mr. Bengalberry Jersey Wearer- ignorance is bliss...
-SURE I CAN DRIVE HOME!

commission to avoid acting like sheeple, cincinnati, OHIO

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

How in the world can you be such a big advocate for the Cincinnati Reds, and such a downer on the Bengals? You have to pay taxes in order for the Reds stadium to be there and for the team to continue playing in this city. Why is that ok, and the Bengals is not? They aren't ALL delinquents; some of them are stand-up citizens. And not all of the Reds players are choir boys, baseball just isn't popular enough to draw the same amount of attention.

-Kalyn

Jackson said...

Thank you for putting that one in my wheelhouse...

Yes, you make valid points, some are delinquents and some are stand ups and some are choir boys...but are the ratios of delinquents/stand ups/choir boys equal between MLB and NFL? I have nothing more than empirical evidence to go on and it leads me to the conclusion there are MORE THUGS per capita in the NFL.

Another issue raised by your comment- the taxes paid:

Paul Brown stadium's price tag- 475million

Great American Ballpark's price tag- 247million

The way things are going, Bengalberries give you 10dates/yr and Reds give you 81dates/yr. So the price/date is waaay screwed up.

I can live with that, as GABP is "baseball only" AND assuming PBS was used for other purposes. But "baseball only" implies PBS is something other than "football only" when, in fact, to use PBS for anything OTHER than a Bengalberry game, we must ask the Bengalberry's permission for a facility that supposedly belongs to us...this is asinine.