signs

ive noticed several signs posted or rules printed that give
me pause-

"rough road"
at times i could swear i'm on a rough road, the automobile i'm riding in is tossing about and the suspension system is taking a beating, but no "rough road" sign is posted. so, the crew that posts the "rough road" signs is doing a terrible job, or i don't understand the threshold for which a road has become rough enough to deserve a sign. in any event, i have a better idea- post signs for the opposite, smooth road. in cincinnati, you'll have ALOT less mileage to cover which should make it easier to manage.

"resume legal speed"
i didn't know there were exceptions to the speed limit, kinda figured it was one of those absolute deals. when i see the "resume legal speed" sign, i'm left to wonder if i couldn't have been making better time up to that point. if i pass through the same corridor later on, and i know the "resume legal speed" marker is coming, can i floor it until i get there? i'm pretty sure the answer is NO, i should be driving the legal speed at all times rendering the sign unnecessary.

"drug free zone"
i thought drugs were illegal in all zones. it would seem all a crack dealer would need to know is: where are the boundaries of the drug free zone? go another couple feet beyond the boundary and setup shop! then again, this might be too sophisticated for their clientele.

"illegal items"
this can be found at the entrance to paul brown stadium. it is on the stadium's prohibited list. it sorta goes with the "drug free zone", however, in this case we're given some indication of the boundary. if you can't bring illegal items into the stadium then presumeably the area just outside the stadium must be where you can have your AK47s, tax free income, and open containers of booze...oh wait a minute, if the bengalberries are playing that day you CAN have open containers of booze outside the stadium but you definitely CANNOT bring them in (they're illegal afterall). although an open container of booze is an "illegal item" throughout the rest of hamilton county, on gameday this "illegal item" transforms into a "legal item" without somuch as an event area. personally, i have see bengalberry fans as far north as 9th street with this type of "illegal item". i'm left to wonder if your average drunk cincinnatian could uncork his mad dog at say, the dude energy center.

"no parking 4- 6p"/"no parking all other times"
this should be an easy one for the city of cincinnati to straighten out. on 9th street between race & elm there is a rush hour lane...not unusual, no parking 4- 6p is fairly common on the outbound portions of the street grid (7- 9a on the inbound portions). however, there is a second, more sinister sign which reads, "no parking all other times" posted here. i'm thinking you could just put up one sign which reads, "no parking" and eliminate some confusion.

"place stamp here/the post office will not deliver mail without postage"
i've always wondered, if the mail is for local delivery, couldn't i put the address i'm sending to as the return address, then some bogus address as the delivery address and skip the postage? i'm assuming the post office would get the item and enforce its policy, returning it to the return address with postage due. but, when they do that, they've fallen into my diabolical scheme because thats who i wanted to recieve the item in the first place. if this ruse works, then, in fact, the post office has delivered mail without postage.

"winery this exit"
when traveling from cincinnati to louisville on I71, there is a state of kentucky sign informing you that exit 34 will get you to a winery. this seems really screwed up to me, the majority of people that see the sign are DRIVING. most automobiles i observe on this highway (all highways) are occupied solely by the driver. but the matter is complicated by the fact the state of kentucky put the sign inplace while simultaneously imposing a law that a driver's blood alcohol content above .08 is dangerous and therefore illegal. should the state of kentucky be engaging in this duplicity?