O HDL,
Thou art supreme and beneficent.
Thou will shall we follow,
Throughout our days,
Mercifully granted by thou.
Increase thyself within our arteries,
And forgive us for all those pizzas,
And chili, burritos, omelets, burgers, fried fish, etc, etc.
Help us to find and enjoy rabbit food.
Banish the evil one, LDL, to below 100.
May we one day reach your kingdom of health...
AMEN
Steve says:
im not intending to make what you believe is my usual big deal about things, but...
Steve says:
did you really believe the garage door automatically closes?
Steve says:
or did you just say that to get me out of the garage last night?
Sally says:
seriously?
Steve says:
yes
Sally says:
Joe, the apartment manager told me if the doors stay open too long...they will automatically close
Steve says:
this morning you said it would still be open from last night
Steve says:
?
Sally says:
on the phone
Sally says:
scheduling a fundraiser
Steve says:
take your time
Sally says:
I was hoping for the best this morning
Sally says:
I know the guy that drives the white car leaves about 7am
Steve says:
ok
Steve says:
what time did i leave this morning?
Sally says:
7:30ish
Sally says:
why?
Steve says:
thats about 15 minutes longer than the door would have stayed open
Steve says:
this is silly
Sally says:
yes it is silly
Sally says:
I don't understand what's gotten into you
Sally says:
what is this about, Steve?
Steve says:
im concerned
Steve says:
we can talk about it later
Sally says:
I'd rather talk about it now
Steve says:
between the conversation about your medicine while walking last week
Steve says:
and everything youve told me about your mother
Steve says:
im concerned you may lie to me about little things
Steve says:
for no good reason
Steve says:
and then never admit it
Sally says:
I can't believe this
Sally says:
I can't tell you how much you've just hurt me
Sally says:
I can't talk about this like this, though
Steve says:
the white car, by the way, was still in there
Steve says:
so the garage wasnt open because he left
Steve says:
how would you even know what time the white car left every morning?
Steve says:
?
Steve says:
ok
Steve says:
ignore me
Steve says:
perfect
Sally says:
I just tried calling you
Sally says:
Steve?
Sally says:
what's going on? are you ignoring me now?
Steve says:
we can talk later
Sally says:
well, I would rather not spend the rest of the day tied up in knots, Steve
Steve says:
i dont know what more can be said
Sally says:
what does that mean?
Steve says:
i feel uncomfortable in the true sense
Steve says:
i feel strongly about what i said
Steve says:
if you are going to maintain your position
Steve says:
there is nothing more to be said
Steve says:
continue to ignore me and then be available at your convenience
Sally says:
I'm not ignoring you
Sally says:
I don't know how to respond to that
Sally says:
If you really feel this way about me though...I find it hard to believe that you could want to be with me
Sally says:
should I assume that I am correct?
Steve says:
chalk it up to another misunderstanding by an overly sensitive man
Steve says:
if you lie to me about little things
Steve says:
and then continue to maintain that lie
Steve says:
allowing me to feel uncomfortable
Steve says:
instead of relieving me
Steve says:
youre correct
Sally says:
I don't know what the solution is here, Steve
Sally says:
I don't lie to you
Sally says:
But if you are always going to think that....I don't know what to do
Sally says:
I just don't understand why it wouldn't cross your mind that I just might be wrong
Sally says:
instead I'm lying to you
Sally says:
I don't know what I did to make you distrust me the way you do.....but regardless of how much you love me and I love you...we have no future if you don't trust me
Steve says:
ok
Sally says:
ok?
Steve says:
your right
Steve says:
we have no future if I don't trust you
Steve says:
how were you wrong?
Steve says:
that crossed my mind
Steve says:
but how were you wrong?
Sally says:
so where does that leave us?
Sally says:
I must have been wrong about the garage door closing after 15 mins
Steve says:
how so?
Sally says:
well, it wasn't closed
Steve says:
wrong, because thats not what you were told?
Sally says:
no
Sally says:
because it wasn't closed
Steve says:
so, joe is wrong\
Sally says:
I probably just misunderstood him
Sally says:
he told me that when I first moved in
Sally says:
maybe it only happens in the winter time
Sally says:
I don't know
Sally says:
but I have left my garage door open and it has been closed when I've come back
Sally says:
this was last year when I actually used it
Sally says:
now, if it was automatic or the guy in the white car closed it
Sally says:
I don't know
Sally says:
I'm just completely blown away that you would think I would lie to you about a stupid garage door
Steve says:
how would you even know when the white car leaves?
Steve says:
its maddening
Sally says:
and that I just wouldn't be wrong about it
Steve says:
theres been too many little things
Steve says:
kept from me
Sally says:
because when I worked on the campaign...I would leave about 7:30am
Sally says:
and his car was always gone
Sally says:
that was last year though
Sally says:
and I only parked in the garage...on a regular basis....for a few months
Sally says:
are you there?
Sally says:
are you finished with this conversation?
Steve says:
im here
Steve says:
like most of our conversation, i dont know where to go from here
Steve says:
like most things, i most concede
Steve says:
or risk looking further like a paranoid schizophrenic
Steve says:
whereas you are always unscathed somehow
Sally says:
Steve, you don't have to do anything
Sally says:
and I don't know how I come out of these situations unscathed
Steve says:
youre faultless
Steve says:
its always my misunderstanding
Sally says:
I'm the one that feels untrusted
Sally says:
I'm not saying I'm faultless
Sally says:
I was wrong about the damned garage door
Sally says:
but what more do you want than that?
Sally says:
I was worng
Sally says:
wrong
Steve says:
i want what i feel like is the truth
Steve says:
without it we are nothing
Sally says:
well, I'm sorry you don't feel like you get the truth from me
Sally says:
but I am telling you the truth
Sally says:
I don't lie to you
over the past 5 or 6yrs, ive become a germophobe. the dénouement in this transformation occurred when renephew coughed up a batch of ebola virus on a slice of pizza i was eating. from that point on, ive been "germ dodgin".
one way to pick up a nice batch of germs is to carry on with one of our society's daily conventions- the handshake. somewhere, the biggest germ that ever crawled the galaxy is thinking, "hooray for the handshake, my modus operandi!"
but, when someone extends his hand to complete this physical cliche, can a germophobe, even politely, decline?
not without snubbing the handshaker. and maybe the handshaker is someone the germophobe needs to keep around. so, the germophobe handshakes away, then looks to get into the can and wash up. what a conundrum.
enter the fist bump. this blogger hopes and prays that the fist bump replaces the handshake forevermore. for the stodgy set (luddites without feed readers, tone dialing, or internet access;) that insist on the handshake, cliftonite is backwards compatible.
and for those of you that have reached a higher level of enlightenment:
here's an item that ran on enquirer.com today:
GREEN TWP. - A female motorist passed out and crashed into a doctor's office this morning, a Hamilton County dispatcher said.
An ambulance was sent to the scene at 3248 Westbourne Drive, she said.
The driver crashed her car into the building about 10:45 a.m.
Late this afternoon, Green Township firefighters were reporting no serious injuries.
***
now, i'll refrain from how idotic "passing out and crashing into a building" sounds. i don't think we're getting the whole story there, but- whatever.
no, my real issue is the 2nd paragraph, "An ambulance was sent to the scene..."
you gotta be kidding...it's a DOCTOR'S OFFICE! can't one of the "white coated ones" come up front and stitch up this chick?
also, i realize this blog entry gets awfully close to the nonsense that goes on at cincinnati.blogspot.com, wherein the guy simply links to the news and offers some inane comments. please forgive me for any resemblance to that blog's world of regurgitation. however, i will offer this defense: at least i'm not making website regurgitating a way of life here...
setting fashion trends is one of this blogger's core competencies. for example, reflect back to the "floral with plaid" craze from the summer of 2005.
that was me. i started that.
"floral with plaid" got so big, that by summer 2006 EVERYONE was doing it. but follow the fad from it's roots: the 2006 crowd was behind the curve, and i had already moved into a more avante garde application. sycophants, "floral with plaid" was sooo 2005.
however, this memorial day weekend (2007), i witnessed something that gave me pause- a manchild, in "plaid with camoflauge". nice job.
to you, manchild, congratulations. but, staying on top in the fashion world is the hard part. enjoy this victory, but fashion moves quickly, and this blogger moves quicker. can you smell what j-pac is cooking?
