Bride takes a swim

A friend of mine found this:

The Fountain of Nonsense

A post office is next door to a laundromat. Thats apparent from the exterior. Even a 2 yr old could look at the post office and make the appropriate synaptic connections required to determine that, indeed, a laundromat is nextdoor.

But, step into the post office and you forget that the laundromat is nextdoor. Maybe it has something to do with the fact, that as you approach the post office, the laundromat moves from your direct vision to your peripheral vision, then it moves completely out of your field of vision as you get to the line drawn by the 10ft radius from the door of the post office. And, really, that only applies if you come in perpendicular, like from the gas station.

So, you're inside the post office,

	and maybe you've been going to this post office for 10yrs
	and maybe you've always noticed that it smelled really nice in there.

***
When something is taken for granted, obliviousness, such as a life in the "land of plenty" or a "nice smell"...well, it really hurts to have the tables turned.

***
At what point do you change into your "stretchies" after work? This question does not apply to my "scrubs" friends.

Sometimes I find myself in work clothes several hours after the shift.

***
Donelda "lived vertical" and, at times this simple fact of her life made her feel like she was "losing her mind". For instance, there were countless occasions when she felt the need to go to a different floor of her home. However, upon arriving on the alternate floor, she immediately forgot why she had used the stairs in the first place.

Was she there to fetch paper clips, or a screw driver, or a screwdriver? Bewildered, she often found other, less immediate things to do on that floor- with the hope the original intention would resurface. If it didn't, she could find herself back on the floor where she started, only to undergo a "deja vu" by being back in that environment. This could eventually turn into a sisyphus style experience:

:LOOP
remember, stairs, forget, stairs
:goto LOOP

No need to make a comment like, "Hey Donelda, keep things such as paperclips, screw drivers, and screwdrivers on every floor!" She's already done that, genius.

Furthermore, she doesn't use "goto" when she programs either. It's only a hypothetical to describe the sisyphus thing, dig?

***
Scrubs, by the way, are a compromise between employees and management. Employees, outside of those that actually provide healthcare, like the generous fit (fer crying out loud, they're like wearing pajamas!) and employers, at one time, had to keep them happy.

***
In the end, it's really critical to write something, anything. Those that cannot write, cannot live [completely].


***
WARNING: This fountain never goes off.

Surf Phone

...a road weary traveler arrived at his destination. The usual arrival procedures ensued: unloading the vessel and "moving in" so to speak. Part of these procedures included dealing with personal effects: keys to a house thats 300mi away, some cash bundled with some credit cards, a drivers license, and that ambiguous device of modern life- a mobile phone.

"I'll just put this phone right here on this available, horizontal surface. After all, this esteemed host of mine has cluttered up his place with all kinds of trash (literally, other people's trash) that he finds on garbage night.

"But, even if he found whatever this hoogie stand is in the trash/garbage, it will still make a nice spot for my phone...

"It's almost like this spot was designated for my phone, what with the power outlet so nearby...and I like those little pebbles at the bottom of my adopted "phone stand". Golly!

"Now, back to the vessel."

***

Another ritual to the arrival process in this place was also underway: the customary ordering of a stuffed crust pie ("excellent" spoken Montgomery Burns' style). As a man crawling through the desert craves water, so too does a man driving through the void crave stuffed crust pie.

Well, what do you know? The host himself has arrived only moments prior to the pie delivery. Everything is set- turn on that television, hey is that channel with "the cat" still on the air? That always cracked me up.

***

Satiated from stuffed crust consumption, couch potatodom combined with TV viewing (the new American way) begins in earnest. There must be a game on one of these crazy cable channels, right?

***

around 2hrs pass

*gurgle, gurgle, gurgle*

Sheesh! That sounds like my mobile phone, but somehow not. It's as if someone submerged my mobile phone in the toilet.

Wait a minute! That's not a phone stand, it's one of those cheap fountains they make in China and sell to Americans to perpetuate their idea that they're affluent (I have one myself- different model).

But, it was void like the...
dry like the...
desert like the...
void when I got here! What could have created this sudden oasis?

Hold it- this buffoon has put his fountain on a timer and ruined my phone in the process.

Who puts his fountain on a timer in the first place? What kind of bizarre freakshow puts his fountain on a timer?

Although this fountain was on a timer, it would seem the metaphorical, fountain of stupidity never goes off...