Surf Phone

...a road weary traveler arrived at his destination. The usual arrival procedures ensued: unloading the vessel and "moving in" so to speak. Part of these procedures included dealing with personal effects: keys to a house thats 300mi away, some cash bundled with some credit cards, a drivers license, and that ambiguous device of modern life- a mobile phone.

"I'll just put this phone right here on this available, horizontal surface. After all, this esteemed host of mine has cluttered up his place with all kinds of trash (literally, other people's trash) that he finds on garbage night.

"But, even if he found whatever this hoogie stand is in the trash/garbage, it will still make a nice spot for my phone...

"It's almost like this spot was designated for my phone, what with the power outlet so nearby...and I like those little pebbles at the bottom of my adopted "phone stand". Golly!

"Now, back to the vessel."

***

Another ritual to the arrival process in this place was also underway: the customary ordering of a stuffed crust pie ("excellent" spoken Montgomery Burns' style). As a man crawling through the desert craves water, so too does a man driving through the void crave stuffed crust pie.

Well, what do you know? The host himself has arrived only moments prior to the pie delivery. Everything is set- turn on that television, hey is that channel with "the cat" still on the air? That always cracked me up.

***

Satiated from stuffed crust consumption, couch potatodom combined with TV viewing (the new American way) begins in earnest. There must be a game on one of these crazy cable channels, right?

***

around 2hrs pass

*gurgle, gurgle, gurgle*

Sheesh! That sounds like my mobile phone, but somehow not. It's as if someone submerged my mobile phone in the toilet.

Wait a minute! That's not a phone stand, it's one of those cheap fountains they make in China and sell to Americans to perpetuate their idea that they're affluent (I have one myself- different model).

But, it was void like the...
dry like the...
desert like the...
void when I got here! What could have created this sudden oasis?

Hold it- this buffoon has put his fountain on a timer and ruined my phone in the process.

Who puts his fountain on a timer in the first place? What kind of bizarre freakshow puts his fountain on a timer?

Although this fountain was on a timer, it would seem the metaphorical, fountain of stupidity never goes off...