The Los Angeles Bengalberries

Los Angeles, California

In 1995, the NFL franchises known as the Raiders and the Rams both moved OUT of Los Angeles. Since then, the country's 2nd largest market has been without an NFL franchise.

At that time, other NFL teams (most notably the Cincinnati Bengalberries) used the vacant Los Angeles market, in combination with their monopolies, as leverage for various publicly subsidized goodies in their own markets. Unfortunately, the biggest sprawl monger to ever drive his SUV around the endless, automobile-centric CRAP in Hamilton County, Bob Bengalhaus- fell for it hook line and sinker.

Is it too late for us to send the Bengalberries to Los Angeles? A deal could work like this:

+Los Angeles assumes some (hopefully all) of the financial commitments made to the Bengalberries by Hamilton County and Bob Bengalhaus.
+Los Angeles also agrees to put the Bengalberries in some sort of stadium, out there, as far from Cincinnati as possible. Possibly the LA Coliseum could be repaired/used for the Bengalberries. Hamilton County would have nothing to do with wherever the Bengalberries are going to play "out there."
+Hamilton County, with a lowered financial commitment to these LOSERS*, uses these funds to create a world class mass transit system. A system that would move the local hillbillies and trailer trash around the area much more efficiently than their current,
"parking garage/gridlock/add lanes/REPEAT" system.
+Hamilton County also rids itself from the constant, embarrassing, "Drunk Bengalberry in Trouble" background noise that turns up in the paper year round.
+Paul Brown Stadium is renamed "The People's Stadium" and is used for events for the people.
+"Tail Gating" aka selective enforcement of open container laws, ceases. Sundays become safer year round, since concentrated drunkenness on the riverfront has also ceased.

This is an excellent plan. Let's urge our current commissioners to start the dialog with their counterparts in LA.

*They are LOSERS in every sense of the word because that's what they do: LOSE.