when manipulating markets for profit- remember to segment!

Here are the "official" versions of Microsoft's latest Office Suite:

+Microsoft Office 2007 Home and Student Edition
+Microsoft Office 2007 Standard Edition
+Microsoft Office 2007 Small Business Edition
+Microsoft Office 2007 Professional Edition
+Microsoft Office 2007 Professional Plus Edition
+Microsoft Office 2007 Enterprise Edition
+Microsoft Office 2007 Ultimate Edition

In addition, we have the following versions of Microsoft's latest operating system:

+Microsoft Windows Vista Starter Edition (not available in the United States, Canada, the European Union, Australia, New Zealand, or other high income markets as defined by the World Bank.)
+Microsoft Windows Vista Home Basic Edition
+Microsoft Windows Vista Home Premium Edition
+Microsoft Windows Vista Business Edition
+Microsoft Windows Vista Ultimate Edition
+Microsoft Windows Vista Enterprise Edition

OK, I'll translate the World Bank thing for you...they're GIVING AWAY Microsoft Windows Vista Starter Edition in certain countries- why? because in China and India especially, Linux as desktop is gaining market share at an alarming rate. But, throw in the "high income" garbage and you get to look like an altruistic corporate citizen. What a bunch of baloney.

Anyway, there are 7 versions of Office and 6 versions of Windows. I decided thats not enough and offer the following versions Microsoft should also release:

+Microsoft Windows Vista Extra Expensive Edition
+Microsoft Office Goofball Edition
+Microsoft Office 2007 Over The Rhine Edition with Crackpipe Plugin designed for Microsoft Windows Vista Blight and Slum Version (warning: as with ALL other Microsoft titles, these Editions and Versions ARE NOT bulletproof!)
+Microsoft Office 2007 Unprofessional Backtalk Edition with Tourette's Syndrome voice recognition module ..@*+$%!
+Microsoft Office 2007 Monday thru Friday 8a- 6p with Nights and Weekends add on Pack Edition Plus Kentucky Framework Edition Pack and sometimes Y
+Microsoft Office 2007 Thanksgiving Edition with a side of Gravy Packet Feature configured for Microsoft Windows Vista Biscuit Edition running Cheesemuffin Client
+Microsoft Windows Vista Petroleum Edition (available in the United States only) SUV Version and Godzilla SUV Version

...and the funniest one of em all:

+Microsoft Windows Vista Open Source Edition!

Let me know if you think I missed any versions and I will post em here.