Strange Things Travel

I flashback to 3yrs ago when we caught lightening in a bottle on that NYC trip. The worst thing of that entire week was when that pigeon defecated on me outside of Macy's under the Empire State Building. So, maybe if a pigeon doesn't defecate on you today it will be OK?

When you do go, you go as yourself on the best day of your life- in your prime physically and mentally.

I never saw the couchlings as protectors of innocent bystanders. I always saw them as vigilantes, dispensing justice as would a benevolent dictator.

But the protector role may be a better one. It's sort of "batmanesque."

Or possibly they're just a couple of adolescent, lovable, goofballs.

A New Preamble

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Gluttony, insure domestic Oil Dependence, provide for the policing of the world, promote the Welfare state, and secure the Blessings of Excess and Entitlement to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Grocery Strategy

+NEVER, under any circumstances, go to the grocery on the 1st or 15th of the month.

+Upon entering the grocery, head directly to the deli (if deli items are desired and there isn't one of them new fangled computer deli ordering doodads up front). It's possible you will find NO ONE in line and can get your items quickly. Afterward, you can double back to the produce section.

+Go ahead and walk the entire store, every aisle, unless you're on a beer run. Otherwise, there's no reason to turn into "provisions commando," targeting only those items in your head. Go through each aisle, methodically, it might jog your memory about something you need. For instance, the pet food aisle might remind you that you have a dog.

+Go to the grocery on a regular basis, so that you can stock your pantry. If a snow storm or some other hazard comes about, you'll be ready. You can even skip occasions when everyone else is going bonkers because someone 80miles away saw a snowflake.

+When approaching the check out lanes, you may as well be trying to read tea leaves relative to which lane will get you out of there the quickest. Clearly, you should obey the express lane rules. Other than that, the only advice here is that if you have alcohol in your cart, look for a lane with an older scanner. Otherwise, you can wind up with a teenybopper that needs to call in a senior scanner for your booze, which can hold things up.

+Times change, and apparently, those that take the store up on "paper or plastic"? are now oucasts. If you want to avoid the dirty looks, better get on the politically correct train to owning your own (reusable) grocery bags.

Back from the dead

Everyone knows they are a different person
Five years from now.

Who would have thought that I would return to that place,
That location, in five years?
Not only different, but better.

Much better.

Home Team Misery

Reds are killing me- what is their record for the months of Apr, May, Aug, and Sep? It's gotta be .600 ball, I swear. You throw in an AVERAGE, I MEAN AVERAGE, Jun and Jul and you got a contender.

But, they stunk so badly in Jun and Jul that they couldn't overcome it.

-Reds Fan Forever

Post It Rant

If you write on a post-it note, you should remove the sheet you write on. This is the design of the post-it note. It is FUNDAMENTAL. If you're keeping a journal, diary, etc, then get a notepad. I get highly annoyed [sic] when I want to use a nearby post-it note, only to find I must remove the top sheet, make my notes on the next sheet, remove that sheet, then replace the top sheet (aka the BULL sheet) so someone else returns to a post-it note stack which appears undisturbed.

So, next time, I'm throwing the top sheet in the shredder, and you'll be on your own to remember to restock on Tuck's Pads when you're at the supermarket.

Charisma

I am seeing you in a new light, the light of "cult leader". Hmm, what do you think?

I would join your emo based cult, drink your kool aid, or whatever it is you're going to make us all do.

What do you think of Stacy Kilgore? She seems vulnerable to me, exactly the type of person that could be influenced to join a cult.

Would we all wear moo moos and chant for 6 hrs a day? Who's cult is this? Yours or mine?

Now I want a cult and I guess I can't very well START a cult and belong to your cult. Sort of like a cult conflict of interest, I guess.

So, I'm reneging, I won't be joining your cult afterall. No hard feelings, it's just that I've got to do this thing. And, stay away from Stacy, she's mine.

ScatterBrain

Let's take a look at a common definition of the term "quantum entanglement."

Quantum entanglement, also called the quantum non-local connection, is a possible property of a quantum mechanical state of a system of two or more objects in which the quantum states of the constituting objects are linked together so that one object can no longer be adequately described without full mention of its counterpart—even if the individual objects are spatially separated in a spacelike manner. This interconnection leads to non-classical correlations between observable physical properties of remote systems, often referred to as nonlocal correlations.

HEAVY. Thanks Wikipedia, you're the best.

***
In more understandable terms, we think quantum engtanglement demonstrates the speed of information. Distance, as we understand it, is irrelevant to entangled particles. If you change the spin of the particle nearest you, it's remote, entangled particle also changes spin, instantly. It changes instantly whether it is in the next room, or across the universe, or in another universe, or in another dimension, or in another time period.

Here's more: the speed of light doesn't even come close to the speed of information, because light is a part of our *same old same old* 3D world and therefore it is beholden to d=rt. Quantum particles, on the other hand, come and go from this universe, this dimension, this time, as they please.

The brain is a quantum computer made up of myriad quantum particles. Scads of this myriad (eat your heart out cliff blog!) are entangled.

During the wake (online) periods, a critical mass of the brain's material interacts in a given universe, in a given dimension, and in a given time period. We call this consciousness.

Additionally, this single brain/quantum computer, is online (conscious) simultaneously with a multitude of other brains/quantum computers. And all online brains agree to local laws of physics perceptible by their senses. For instance, "there is a 40ton boulder located at X & Y and we all agree that you can't go through it." This collective, conscious group, constructs the physical world around us at any given instant.

Stay with me.

It's in the sleep periods that things get interesting. During sleep cycles, the brain can leave it's universe/dimension/time for other universes/dimensions/times it is entangled with. Those destinations, as Hugh Everett's "Many Worlds Theory" would have you believe, are all possible realities, including one where your first boss at the insurance company wears a "rat tail" and operates a UHaul rental location in the countryside, and you're renting a UHaul from him instead of working for him and while you're there a fight breaks out amongst his employees in this large field behind the place.

That "UHaul Universe" DOES exist, and is just as real for the individuals in it, as this blog is to the universe you're in right now (although many probably wish they could purge this blog from their universe). In any event, the "UHaul Universe" was an entangled voyage of the brain, a 1st person view through the senses of a conscious being existing there.

Furthermore, we have a name for these entangled voyages of the brain during sleep cycles:

dreams
Finally, certain dreams take place with universe and dimension held constant, but during a time in the future. After the dream, you reach this point in time as an online, conscious being, and you have the feeling, "I've been here before." We call this:

déjà vu

Disposable Duality

Something about joining FB ruined the appetite to write here. Don't know what it is, but check the date and time, almost down to the hour, and you will find the correlation.

By the time you read this, a promise will have been fulfilled: release this now, don't keep writing and sitting on what you write. Release it, NAKED.

So, enough of that. Something to chew on:

A disposable society must eventually deal with the duality of said disposable items- their harm, and their benefit.

Take, for instance, the ubiquitous nature of the grocery bag. These days, it's not unusual to find grocery people with their own bags. Their message? "I'm not going to take advantage of the disposable option at this place."

Not bad, cliff blog commends you.

However, these perpetual bags lack certain value(s), and in that you find yourself in the duality again.

Let's say the grillbilly fires it up, and keeps a disposable, Kroghetto bag nearby for the trash. The bag was reused, but wound up in the landfill anyway. Does perpetual bagman or perpetual bagwoman have this option?

Perpetual bagman and perpetual bagwoman have to bring the trash can close to the grill. Does that present a fire hazard?

A: Depends on circumstances.
That tangent aside, the fact is, that in order to use less, one has to work more. Do YOU think your countrymen are working more these days? It would appear that the perception of, "I'm affluent too" has spun out of control and, as a result, not many are willing to take on even the most ephemeral responsibility.

CODA
Goodbye July 2K9, it was nice living in your beautiful grace- BIG FAN.

Legalities

Yeah sure, it's a reprint.
And sometimes, I look over my shoulder too.
But if you, or anyone else has a problem with that,
You're going to need to contact my attorney.

My attorney just had a 1-800 number installed.
You punch in these numbers:

1-800-586-1980

...and my attorney picks up the phone.

My attorney is always borrowing from Latin.
I said, I've heard of "pro bono,"
My attorney says, "That's for other people."

Sometimes I think my attorney uses that 1-800 number to receive phone calls from various nationwide floozies. I'm not sure that is something I approve of.

I don't think my attorney seeks my approval, rendering that point moot. It's stated here anyway, just for the record. He states stuff for the record all the time, so why can't I?

I can't live without my attorney, and sometimes I wish someone would cross me, just so I can dial that 1-800 number and say,

"I got somebody I want you to mess up! I want you to transfer all of this joker's assets to me. I don't want to hear any Latin, I don't want to hear any 'ifs ands or buts'- just do it!"