cliff blog

What a name starts with

2011-08-11T13:00:00.002-04:00

So, even when you go to spell someone's name you find yourself in the "precious present" (Jeff Sheppard '98) because your brain is already thinking of the letters it needs to put together. The brain (as meat) controls time, right?

Have you ever thought of the word "BRAIN" as an anagram for the name "BRIAN"? You just time traveled.

Have you ever thought that you were tired of the meat BRIAN?

Have you ever thought that you were tired of the meat BRAIN?

Have you ever thought that if anyone deserves to join the singularity, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, that his name is "BRIAN"?

Well, I'm thinking of it every now.

We are giving up on the meat my friend. It's time to make some calls and send some e-mails.

A New Preamble

2010-12-16T10:00:00.000-05:00

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Gluttony, insure domestic Oil Dependence, provide for the policing of the world, promote the Welfare state, and secure the Blessings of Excess and Entitlement to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Grocery Strategy

2010-04-17T09:00:00.001-04:00

+NEVER, under any circumstances, go to the grocery on the 1st or 15th of the month.

+Upon entering the grocery, head directly to the deli (if deli items are desired and there isn't one of them new fangled computer deli ordering doodads up front). It's possible you will find NO ONE in line and can get your items quickly. Afterward, you can double back to the produce section.

+Go ahead and walk the entire store, every aisle, unless you're on a beer run. Otherwise, there's no reason to turn into "provisions commando," targeting only those items in your head. Go through each aisle, methodically, it might jog your memory about something you need. For instance, the pet food aisle might remind you that you have a dog.

+Go to the grocery on a regular basis, so that you can stock your pantry. If a snow storm or some other hazard comes about, you'll be ready. You can even skip occasions when everyone else is going bonkers because someone 80miles away saw a snowflake.

+When approaching the check out lanes, you may as well be trying to read tea leaves relative to which lane will get you out of there the quickest. Clearly, you should obey the express lane rules. Other than that, the only advice here is that if you have alcohol in your cart, look for a lane with an older scanner. Otherwise, you can wind up with a teenybopper that needs to call in a senior scanner for your booze, which can hold things up.

+Times change, and apparently, those that take the store up on "paper or plastic"? are now oucasts. If you want to avoid the dirty looks, better get on the politically correct train to owning your own (reusable) grocery bags.

Back from the dead

2009-12-03T17:00:00.002-05:00

Everyone knows they are a different person
Five years from now.

Who would have thought that I would return to that place,
That location, in five years?
Not only different, but better.

Much better.

Home Team Misery

2009-09-25T20:00:00.001-04:00

Reds are killing me- what is their record for the months of Apr, May, Aug, and Sep? It's gotta be .600 ball, I swear. You throw in an AVERAGE, I MEAN AVERAGE, Jun and Jul and you got a contender.

But, they stunk so badly in Jun and Jul that they couldn't overcome it.

-Reds Fan Forever

Post It Rant

2009-09-16T01:00:00.001-04:00

If you write on a post-it note, you should remove the sheet you write on. This is the design of the post-it note. It is FUNDAMENTAL. If you're keeping a journal, diary, etc, then get a notepad. I get highly annoyed [sic] when I want to use a nearby post-it note, only to find I must remove the top sheet, make my notes on the next sheet, remove that sheet, then replace the top sheet (aka the BULL sheet) so someone else returns to a post-it note stack which appears undisturbed.

So, next time, I'm throwing the top sheet in the shredder, and you'll be on your own to remember to restock on Tuck's Pads when you're at the supermarket.

Charisma

2009-08-31T12:00:00.000-04:00

I am seeing you in a new light, the light of "cult leader". Hmm, what do you think?

I would join your emo based cult, drink your kool aid, or whatever it is you're going to make us all do.

What do you think of Stacy Kilgore? She seems vulnerable to me, exactly the type of person that could be influenced to join a cult.

Would we all wear moo moos and chant for 6 hrs a day? Who's cult is this? Yours or mine?

Now I want a cult and I guess I can't very well START a cult and belong to your cult. Sort of like a cult conflict of interest, I guess.

So, I'm reneging, I won't be joining your cult afterall. No hard feelings, it's just that I've got to do this thing. And, stay away from Stacy, she's mine.

ScatterBrain

2009-08-13T16:00:00.014-04:00

Let's take a look at a common definition of the term "quantum entanglement."

Quantum entanglement, also called the quantum non-local connection, is a possible property of a quantum mechanical state of a system of two or more objects in which the quantum states of the constituting objects are linked together so that one object can no longer be adequately described without full mention of its counterpart—even if the individual objects are spatially separated in a spacelike manner. This interconnection leads to non-classical correlations between observable physical properties of remote systems, often referred to as nonlocal correlations.

HEAVY. Thanks Wikipedia, you're the best.

***
In more understandable terms, we think quantum engtanglement demonstrates the speed of information. Distance, as we understand it, is irrelevant to entangled particles. If you change the spin of the particle nearest you, it's remote, entangled particle also changes spin, instantly. It changes instantly whether it is in the next room, or across the universe, or in another universe, or in another dimension, or in another time period.

Here's more: the speed of light doesn't even come close to the speed of information, because light is a part of our *same old same old* 3D world and therefore it is beholden to d=rt. Quantum particles, on the other hand, come and go from this universe, this dimension, this time, as they please.

The brain is a quantum computer made up of myriad quantum particles. Scads of this myriad (eat your heart out cliff blog!) are entangled.

During the wake (online) periods, a critical mass of the brain's material interacts in a given universe, in a given dimension, and in a given time period. We call this consciousness.

Additionally, this single brain/quantum computer, is online (conscious) simultaneously with a multitude of other brains/quantum computers. And all online brains agree to local laws of physics perceptible by their senses. For instance, "there is a 40ton boulder located at X & Y and we all agree that you can't go through it." This collective, conscious group, constructs the physical world around us at any given instant.

Stay with me.

It's in the sleep periods that things get interesting. During sleep cycles, the brain can leave it's universe/dimension/time for other universes/dimensions/times it is entangled with. Those destinations, as Hugh Everett's "Many Worlds Theory" would have you believe, are all possible realities, including one where your first boss at the insurance company wears a "rat tail" and operates a UHaul rental location in the countryside, and you're renting a UHaul from him instead of working for him and while you're there a fight breaks out amongst his employees in this large field behind the place.

That "UHaul Universe" DOES exist, and is just as real for the individuals in it, as this blog is to the universe you're in right now (although many probably wish they could purge this blog from their universe). In any event, the "UHaul Universe" was an entangled voyage of the brain, a 1st person view through the senses of a conscious being existing there.

Furthermore, we have a name for these entangled voyages of the brain during sleep cycles:

dreams
Finally, certain dreams take place with universe and dimension held constant, but during a time in the future. After the dream, you reach this point in time as an online, conscious being, and you have the feeling, "I've been here before." We call this:

déjà vu

Disposable Duality

2009-07-30T21:00:00.009-04:00

Something about joining FB ruined the appetite to write here. Don't know what it is, but check the date and time, almost down to the hour, and you will find the correlation.

By the time you read this, a promise will have been fulfilled: release this now, don't keep writing and sitting on what you write. Release it, NAKED.

So, enough of that. Something to chew on:

A disposable society must eventually deal with the duality of said disposable items- their harm, and their benefit.

Take, for instance, the ubiquitous nature of the grocery bag. These days, it's not unusual to find grocery people with their own bags. Their message? "I'm not going to take advantage of the disposable option at this place."

Not bad, cliff blog commends you.

However, these perpetual bags lack certain value(s), and in that you find yourself in the duality again.

Let's say the grillbilly fires it up, and keeps a disposable, Kroghetto bag nearby for the trash. The bag was reused, but wound up in the landfill anyway. Does perpetual bagman or perpetual bagwoman have this option?

Perpetual bagman and perpetual bagwoman have to bring the trash can close to the grill. Does that present a fire hazard?

A: Depends on circumstances.
That tangent aside, the fact is, that in order to use less, one has to work more. Do YOU think your countrymen are working more these days? It would appear that the perception of, "I'm affluent too" has spun out of control and, as a result, not many are willing to take on even the most ephemeral responsibility.

CODA
Goodbye July 2K9, it was nice living in your beautiful grace- BIG FAN.

Legalities

2009-05-18T20:00:00.001-04:00

Yeah sure, it's a reprint.
And sometimes, I look over my shoulder too.
But if you, or anyone else has a problem with that,
You're going to need to contact my attorney.

My attorney just had a 1-800 number installed.
You punch in these numbers:

1-800-586-1980

...and my attorney picks up the phone.

My attorney is always borrowing from Latin.
I said, I've heard of "pro bono,"
My attorney says, "That's for other people."

Sometimes I think my attorney uses that 1-800 number to receive phone calls from various nationwide floozies. I'm not sure that is something I approve of.

I don't think my attorney seeks my approval, rendering that point moot. It's stated here anyway, just for the record. He states stuff for the record all the time, so why can't I?

I can't live without my attorney, and sometimes I wish someone would cross me, just so I can dial that 1-800 number and say,

"I got somebody I want you to mess up! I want you to transfer all of this joker's assets to me. I don't want to hear any Latin, I don't want to hear any 'ifs ands or buts'- just do it!"

Checkout

2009-05-06T06:00:00.000-04:00

No one ever pays any attention to the light. Go ahead and turn your light off, it won't make any difference, because if there is a clerk scanning groceries, people are going to line up.

What does this tell you? It tells me you should keep that checkout lane open, and it tells you the same thing.

So, take your smoke break after the rush is over- or better yet, skip the smoke break and bring some carts in from the parking lot.

Kentucky Haiku

2009-03-31T20:00:00.000-04:00

Sales taxes on booze?
Tobacco a way of life?
Kentucky- goodbye.

Chandelier Cloud

2009-03-25T21:00:00.003-04:00

Pigeons are at it again

2009-03-18T20:00:00.002-04:00

This is just despicable. This photo debunks the idea that bird droppings are random. For crying out loud! Look at that pigeon! It has intent and clearly knows what it's doing.

...and, as if that wasn't bad enough- children? C'mon!

I can no longer look the other way on the statue defecation, but I can look the other way when the Bengalberry stadium is concerned. A blog must stay consistent, afterall.

Somehow, this little boy must be avenged, Bengalberry fans excepted.

Tilt a Whirl

2009-03-09T20:00:00.002-04:00

Rumor has it they are going to build a rotating tower in Dubai.

Nuts!

Feckless Gov

2009-03-08T13:00:00.002-04:00

The inverse of "too big to fail" is "too small to succeed" which seems to be apropos given what the U.S. government has been up to recently.

This humble blogger suggests that what really needs to fail here is the biggest one of them all, the U.S. government itself. Maybe the "failure v. size" thesis needs some modification?

The self employed are "too small to succeed." Confiscate what they have.
AIG, BofA, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac are "too big to fail." Bail them out.
The U.S. government is "so big it should fail." Nah, start another program.

But seriously, the question must be asked, "who bails out the bailer outters?"

***
Consumer debt EQUALS GDP these days so remarks such as "credit is the lifeblood of the economy" are not entirely accurate. What follows, "we need to get the banks lending again" is also an over simplification. The system currently in place has lead to this malfeasance and it's time for it to stop.

When it does, one would assume gov's confiscations will also stop, and that everyone will get paid under the table. You know, like the drug dealers do.

The drug dealers seem to have built a pretty good distribution network, unencumbered by taxation, while we pay taxes to try and chase them down, to try and incarcerate them. I wonder if the drug dealers are "too big to fail?" I wonder if they will survive the collapse of gov?

Crank of America at $1.50/share? BUY!
DopeCo at $1.75/share? BUY!
Crackie Mac at $2.00/share? BUY!
Methie Mae at $2.25/share? BUY!

***
The operation that was "too small to succeed" will, in fact, flourish, for it is that operation that actually DOES something in this world. Going up and up the hierarchy, where you reach top elected officials, the Wall Street crowd, et al. results in a clueless class that operates solely in abstractions.

The clueless class benefits only if they can maintain the status quo. A status quo that, everywhere you look, seems more and more like a Madoff Ponzi scheme.

Ponzi scheme? I'll give you a Ponzi scheme, it's called Social Security. Social Security is the mother of all bailouts and is also where this is all heading. China will VETO that bailout, and the U.S. will fall.

Let's just get it over with...

Bride takes a swim

2009-02-21T18:00:00.001-05:00

A friend of mine found this:

The Fountain of Nonsense

2009-02-17T17:00:00.002-05:00

A post office is next door to a laundromat. Thats apparent from the exterior. Even a 2 yr old could look at the post office and make the appropriate synaptic connections required to determine that, indeed, a laundromat is nextdoor.

But, step into the post office and you forget that the laundromat is nextdoor. Maybe it has something to do with the fact, that as you approach the post office, the laundromat moves from your direct vision to your peripheral vision, then it moves completely out of your field of vision as you get to the line drawn by the 10ft radius from the door of the post office. And, really, that only applies if you come in perpendicular, like from the gas station.

So, you're inside the post office,

	and maybe you've been going to this post office for 10yrs
	and maybe you've always noticed that it smelled really nice in there.

***
When something is taken for granted, obliviousness, such as a life in the "land of plenty" or a "nice smell"...well, it really hurts to have the tables turned.

***
At what point do you change into your "stretchies" after work? This question does not apply to my "scrubs" friends.

Sometimes I find myself in work clothes several hours after the shift.

***
Donelda "lived vertical" and, at times this simple fact of her life made her feel like she was "losing her mind". For instance, there were countless occasions when she felt the need to go to a different floor of her home. However, upon arriving on the alternate floor, she immediately forgot why she had used the stairs in the first place.

Was she there to fetch paper clips, or a screw driver, or a screwdriver? Bewildered, she often found other, less immediate things to do on that floor- with the hope the original intention would resurface. If it didn't, she could find herself back on the floor where she started, only to undergo a "deja vu" by being back in that environment. This could eventually turn into a sisyphus style experience:

:LOOP
remember, stairs, forget, stairs
:goto LOOP

No need to make a comment like, "Hey Donelda, keep things such as paperclips, screw drivers, and screwdrivers on every floor!" She's already done that, genius.

Furthermore, she doesn't use "goto" when she programs either. It's only a hypothetical to describe the sisyphus thing, dig?

***
Scrubs, by the way, are a compromise between employees and management. Employees, outside of those that actually provide healthcare, like the generous fit (fer crying out loud, they're like wearing pajamas!) and employers, at one time, had to keep them happy.

***
In the end, it's really critical to write something, anything. Those that cannot write, cannot live [completely].

***
WARNING: This fountain never goes off.

Surf Phone

2009-02-12T13:00:00.005-05:00

...a road weary traveler arrived at his destination. The usual arrival procedures ensued: unloading the vessel and "moving in" so to speak. Part of these procedures included dealing with personal effects: keys to a house thats 300mi away, some cash bundled with some credit cards, a drivers license, and that ambiguous device of modern life- a mobile phone.

"I'll just put this phone right here on this available, horizontal surface. After all, this esteemed host of mine has cluttered up his place with all kinds of trash (literally, other people's trash) that he finds on garbage night.

"But, even if he found whatever this hoogie stand is in the trash/garbage, it will still make a nice spot for my phone...

"It's almost like this spot was designated for my phone, what with the power outlet so nearby...and I like those little pebbles at the bottom of my adopted "phone stand". Golly!

"Now, back to the vessel."

***

Another ritual to the arrival process in this place was also underway: the customary ordering of a stuffed crust pie ("excellent" spoken Montgomery Burns' style). As a man crawling through the desert craves water, so too does a man driving through the void crave stuffed crust pie.

Well, what do you know? The host himself has arrived only moments prior to the pie delivery. Everything is set- turn on that television, hey is that channel with "the cat" still on the air? That always cracked me up.

***

Satiated from stuffed crust consumption, couch potatodom combined with TV viewing (the new American way) begins in earnest. There must be a game on one of these crazy cable channels, right?

***

around 2hrs pass

*gurgle, gurgle, gurgle*

Sheesh! That sounds like my mobile phone, but somehow not. It's as if someone submerged my mobile phone in the toilet.

Wait a minute! That's not a phone stand, it's one of those cheap fountains they make in China and sell to Americans to perpetuate their idea that they're affluent (I have one myself- different model).

But, it was void like the...
dry like the...
desert like the...
void when I got here! What could have created this sudden oasis?

Hold it- this buffoon has put his fountain on a timer and ruined my phone in the process.

Who puts his fountain on a timer in the first place? What kind of bizarre freakshow puts his fountain on a timer?

Although this fountain was on a timer, it would seem the metaphorical, fountain of stupidity never goes off...

Man of the Year

2009-01-16T10:00:00.001-05:00

Chesley B. Sullenberger III

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
Well, maybe land like a plane with Canadian Geese in it's engines, anyway...
for you are the water beneath my wings.

Apparel Problem

2008-12-30T13:00:00.013-05:00

Imbecile

What is wrong with this individual? Many amongst us resent someone with these sort of natural good looks, but that's not his biggest problem. His biggest problem is that he wears the logos of two teams in conjunction, a critical error in judgement.

Time and time again, this fashion faux pas rears it's ugly head. Who are these imbeciles, who, when planning their ensemble for a public outing, choose to wear two logos? Do their mothers lay these outfits out on their beds for them? It's just sick and wrong.

Read one (of many) of the Cliff Blog's fashion laws, here and now:

+NEVER, under any circumstances, do you wear two logos at once.
+There is no exception for "God's teams," the Cincinnati Reds, and UK (basketball) Wildcats!
+All other logos are included. For instance, a NASCAR ball cap with a San Diego Chargers TShirt is just as unacceptable.
+Sneaker logos should match any other athletic clothing logos. Adidas sneakers are acceptable with an Adidas cap. Adidas sneakers are not acceptable with a Nike cap.
+Sneaker logos are pervasive. Any sneaker logo is acceptable with any other, single, non athletic logo. For instance, Adidas sneakers are acceptable with a Cincinnati Reds cap.
+Multiple logos can be displayed if they are for the same team. For instance, a Cincinnati Reds TShirt is acceptable with a Cincinnati Reds cap.
+Any Bengalberry logo is unacceptable, inexcusable, and downright preposterous. You're basically saying, "Look at me, I have no ability to reason. I support millionaire thugs and their babysitters."

Unfortunately, there is an enforcement issue involved here. The Cliff Blog lacks the authority to correct this moronic behavior. So, you will be on your own to "self regulate" (kinda like Wall St). But, know this: should you fail and violate this fundamental fashion law, others will sneer, chuckle, and possibly prejudge you (correctly) as a clown of the highest degree.

Wildlife, the U.S. Mint, and trivia during the Silly Season

2008-12-27T13:00:00.006-05:00

Intro- during the trip south for the silly season, some minutiae occurred...

Rolling down 75S in a torrential down pour on twelve twenty four can be hazardous to your health. But twelve twenty four is what it is, and after arriving safe and sound, which was even money at the outset of the ride, the annual ceremonies commenced in sequence. Amidst all that fal-duh-ral, various ephemeral cash transactions were made. You know the types of goods and services, everyday stuff at the Speedway or Taco Tico or Marika's on Southland (no website! tsk tsk).

Ah, livin was easy. Something tells me that, in the future, maybe the near future, I will look back on weekends of Speedway, Taco Tico, and Marika's with a fondness for something lost. But, that is a separate issue altogether.

This blog entry will not address that issue, this entry has to do with some obscurity involving said ephemeral cash transactions. More specifically, the state quarters received as change during a Taco Tico feedbag pickup (3 hard tacos/volcano sauce, 2 combo burritos/hot sauce).

Have a look at these state quarters:

Change Given

On the left, a quarter representing South Dakota. On the right, a quarter representing Oklahoma. Fine enough, but what else is going on here? Is that the same bird? Does this bird appear on any other state quarters? Is this bird tasty?

More questions than answers for the time being. The various relatives and friends that appeared, disappeared, reappeared and finally disappeared (into my rear view mirror) had no answers to these questions and moreover, seemed largely underwhelmed by the observation itself.

Fine enough.

Returning home to a subsequent visit from an esteemed colleague lead to all sorts of information. The esteemed colleague spoke with authority on the matter of the two birdies:

+Although similar, the two are NOT identical.
+South Dakota's quarter depicts the red ringtail pheasant.
+Oklahoma's quarter depicts the longtail pheasant.
+The longtail is distinguished from the red ringtail by it's pointed wings.
+Whether or not either appears on a third state quarter is unknown. Conventional wisdom says- probably not.
+Neither birdie is all that tasty.

For those curious about the world, take this information with you and always examine your change closely- not just for pheasants, but to make sure it adds up to what you were expecting.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2008-12-20T21:00:00.005-05:00

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer"
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
It's the hap- happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap- happiest season of all

Er- what about all the darkness?

There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago

Er- I'm cold.

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
There'll be much mistltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When loved ones are near
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Holy Smox! Look at the Dude Energy bill for last month!

There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago

Er- what about all the obligations? What about the ridiculous notion that I must spend on material items in order to save face?

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
There'll be much mistltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When loved ones are near
It's The Most Wonderful Time
It's The Most Wonderful Time
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Er- I'm not sure I see it that way. I mean, spring is really nice, and I like baseball season alot.

You're a "Scrooge!"

Oh no! My Christmasphobia is acting up!

Twilight

2008-12-17T17:00:00.001-05:00

Civil Twilight
Civil twilight is defined when the sun is 6 degrees below the horizon. This is the limit at which twilight illumination is sufficient, under good weather conditions, for terrestrial objects to be clearly distinguished; at the beginning of morning civil twilight, or end of evening civil twilight, the horizon is clearly defined and the brightest stars are visible under good atmospheric conditions in the absence of moonlight or other illumination. In the morning before the beginning of civil twilight and in the evening after the end of civil twilight, artificial illumination is normally required to carry on ordinary outdoor activities.

Nautical Twilight
Nautical twilight is defined when the sun is 12 degrees below the horizon. At the beginning or end of nautical twilight, under good atmospheric conditions and in the absence of other illumination, general outlines of ground objects may be distinguishable, but detailed outdoor operations are not possible, and the horizon is indistinct.

Astronomical Twilight
Astronomical twilight is defined when the sun is 18 degrees below the horizon. Before the beginning of astronomical twilight in the morning and after the end of astronomical twilight in the evening the sun does not contribute to sky illumination; for a considerable interval after the beginning of morning twilight and before the end of evening twilight, sky illumination is so faint that it is practically imperceptible.

Change You Won't Believe

2008-12-15T15:00:00.000-05:00

by james howard kunstler

The peak oil story has not been nullified by the scramble to unload every asset for cash -- including whomping gobs of oil contracts -- during this desperate season of bank liquidation. The main implication of the peak oil story is that we won't be able to generate the kind of economic growth that defined our way of life for decades because the primary energy resources needed for it will be contracting.
Just as global oil production peaked, our economy evolved into a morbid hypertrophy, and the chief manifestation of it was the suburban sprawl-building fiesta that has now climaxed in the real estate bust. By the early 21st century, when so much American manufacturing had been swapped out to Asia, there was no business left except sprawl-building -- a manifold tragedy which wrecked the banks that financed it, and left the ordinary people mortgaged to it with ruinous liabilities.
That economy is now in its death throes. The "normality" it represents to so many Americans is gone and can't be brought back, no matter how wistfully we watch it recede. Even so, it was obviously not good for the country. The terrain of North America has been left scarred by unlovable objects and baleful futureless vistas that, from now on, will shed whatever pecuniary value they once had. It represents the physical counterpart to the financial mess that has been left to the young generations to clean up -- and the job will take a very long time.
We have to, so to speak, get to place mentally where we can face the kinds of change that are now necessary and unavoidable. We're not there yet. It's not clear whether the elected new national leadership knows just how severe the required changes will really be. Surely the public would be shocked to grasp what's in store. Probably the worst thing we can do now would be to mount a campaign to stay where we are, lost in raptures of happy motoring and blue-light-special shopping.
The economy we're evolving into will be un-global, necessarily local and regional, and austere. It won't support even our current population. This being the case, the political fallout is also liable to be severe. For one thing, we'll have to put aside our sentimental fantasies about immigration. This is almost impossible to imagine, since that narrative is especially potent among the Democratic Party members who are coming in to run things. A tough immigration policy is exactly the kind of difficult change we have to face. This is no longer the 19th century. The narrative has to change.
The new narrative has to be about a managed contraction -- and by "managed" I mean a way that does not produce civil violence, starvation, and public health disasters. One of the telltale signs to look for will be whether the Obama administration bandies around the word "growth." If you hear them use it, it will indicate that they don't understand the kind of change we face.
It is hugely ironic that the US automobile industry is collapsing at this very moment, and the ongoing debate about whether to "rescue" it or not is an obvious kabuki theater exercise because this industry is hopeless. It is headed into bankruptcy with one hundred percent certainty. The only thing in question is whether the news of its death will spoil the Christmas of those who draw a paycheck from it, or those whose hopes for an easy retirement are vested in it. But American political-economy being very Santa Claus oriented for recent generations, the gesture will be made. A single leaky little lifeboat will be lowered and the chiefs of the Big Three will be invited to go for a brief little row, and then they will sink, glug, glug, glug, while the rusty old Titanic of the car industry slides diagonally into the deep behind them, against a sickening greenish-orange sunset backdrop of the morbid economy.
A key concept of the economy to come is that size matters -- everything organized at the giant scale will suffer dysfunction and failure. Giant companies, giant governments, giant institutions will all get into trouble. This, unfortunately, doesn't bode so well for the Obama team and it is salient reason why they must not mount a campaign to keep things the way they are and support enterprises that have to be let go, including many of the government's own operations. The best thing Mr. Obama can do is act as a wise counselor companion-in-chief to a people who now have to leave a lot behind in order to move forward into a plausible future. He seems well-suited to this task in sensibility and intelligence. The task will surely include a degree of pretense that he is holding some familiar things together and propping up some touchstones of the comfortable life. But the truth is we are all going to the same unfamiliar new territory.
The economy we're moving into will have to be one of real work, producing real things of value, at a scale consistent with energy resource reality. I'm convinced that farming will come much closer to the center of economic life, as the death of petro-agribusiness makes food production a matter of life and death in America -- as opposed to the disaster of metabolic entertainment it is now. Reorganizing the landscape itself for this finer-scaled new type of farming is a task fraught with political peril (land ownership questions being historically one of the main reasons that societies fall into revolution). The public is completely unprepared for this kind of change. We still think that "the path to success" is based on getting a college degree certifying people for a lifetime of sitting in an office cubicle. This is so far from the approaching reality that it will be eventually viewed as a sick joke -- like those old 1912 lithographs of mega-cities with Zeppelins plying the air between Everest-size skyscrapers.
The crucial element in the transformation underway will be emotion. The American experience for a few generations has produced an adult population with very childish instincts, increasingly worse each decade. For instance, the desperate power fantasies among the younger tattooed lumpenproles -- those with next-to-zero real economic power -- suggest a certain unappetizing playing-out of resource competition when the supply of Cheez Doodles and Pepsi starts to dwindle. But even the heretofore gainfully employed middle classes are pretty lost in fantasies at least of comfort an convenience. For years now, I have wondered how their sense of grievance and resentment will be expressed when the supermarket shelves run bare and the cardboard signs get taped over the local gas pump and the cable TV gets cut off for non-payment. You wonder, to put it bluntly, how far gone we really are.

Blagojevich Resignation Speech

2008-12-14T18:00:00.008-05:00

Rod Blagojevich and his hair

The Cliff Blog has obtained a draft of the upcoming "Hot" Rod Blagojevich resignation speech. It is reprinted here as a perk to Cliff Blog readers:

***
"Greetings everyone. Greetings to the citizens of Illinois, the United States, and the world. "Season's Greetings" to the citizens of Illinois, the United States, and the world.

"I'm sure you are aware that this administration faces tough allegations. Allegations which will eventually be proven false. However, the allegations have affected this administration's ability to govern, and I, Rod Blagojevich, am hereby resigning my position as Governor of the State of Illinois.

"I would like to take this opportunity to offer some additional information in the form of three points.

"Firstly, during my term as Governor of Illinois, I have found it ironic how such a screwed up and corrupted state, could build such a fantastic city, namely Chicago. How, over the decades of scandal, did we manage to create such an intricate place of architecture blended with those crazy stuffed crust pizza pies? It really defies imagination.

"Secondly, for all those haters: this morning, I issued the Illinois Governor's executive order number 312-708-773-847 which officially abolishes the Chicago Cubs. Local fans seem OK, however, there are legions of "wannabes" throughout the country that, frankly are getting on everyone's nerves. My recommendation to those fans which are NOT annoying, is to start following the Cincinnati Reds. I mean, with Joey Votto, Brandon Phillips, Jay Bruce, Edinson Volquez, Johnny Cueto, etc...what's not to like? They're a really cool team and every so often they win the World Series!

"GO REDS!

"In any event, a demolition crew will begin work at 1060 W Addison in early 2009. By opening day, the ballpark will no longer exist. Neither will the team. By 2010, we will have built "The Shoppes of Wrigley Towne Centre" at the site. You're going to want to bring your SUV to this development, for all the crap you're gonna buy!

"Finally, the hair is real, and it is FABULOUS!

"Thank you, and good night!"

Confucius Wisdom

2008-12-10T15:00:00.002-05:00

Grasshoppa-
When undergoing prep for colonoscopy, remember to duct tape legs to toilet seat. Otherwise you suffer "space shuttle effect" and end up beyond moon.

Big Stinky Mess

2008-12-07T23:00:00.004-05:00

Recently the talking heads on TV and the man on the street seem to be conveying the idea that the economy is all about the stock market. That, if we can just do something, anything to get the stock market to go UP on a daily basis, then we have ourselves a healthy economy- truly a ridiculous notion.

The bad news is, it's not that easy. The NYSE, NASDAQ, and other trading markets, in and of themselves, are not our "ECONOMY". Rather, they are reactionary indicators of the economic climate. Furthermore, they always lead, which is to say they are short term predictors.

Given that the markets are indicators/predictors, what they are currently telling us is that they believe the good ole USA is BROKE BROKE BROKE! Let's face it, there is a mountain of debt in this country, both public and private, and much of it is unsecured.

So, let's take our medicine this time, as opposed to throwing more unsecured debt at the already unsecured debt. "Taking our medicine" includes letting the automotive industry die, since their products, and the infrastructure we've built around them, are a huge part of our problem.

MMVIII = BAD YEAR

Spellebrex (spellenfiltranitratomoxcylinfan)

2008-12-02T17:00:00.021-05:00

I alwaz dreemd of havig my own bloog, but I phelt lik it waz a bad idea 4 me too start a bloog, sence I hav a spulling problum.

Then I talkt too my ductor about Spulebrex. He sed it hulps milyuns of peepl jus lik me an he rote me a prediction.

He sed it wood not hulp with the stoopidty.

***Once I started on Spellebrex, I realized I could have a blog! But that wasn't all, I could also send e-mails, write ransom notes, and forge Government forms!

Thanks Spellebrex, you're the best!

***All medicines may cause side effects, but many people have no, or minor, side effects when using Spellebrex. Check with your ductor if any of these COMMON side effects persist or become bothersome when using Spellebrex:

+Eye burning or irritation
+Itching, pain, redness, stinging, or swelling
+Headache
+Herpes
+General hallucinogenic visions
+Increased SNOT production
+Incessant babbling (however, this is normal in "annoying" patients)
+Incessant blogging
+Incessant ANYTHING

Seek medical attention right away if any of these SEVERE side effects occur when using Spellebrex:

+Severe allergic reactions (rash/hives/itching/difficulty breathing/swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or ENTIRE HEAD)
+Explosive diarrhea/projectile vomiting
+Projectile diarrhea/explosive vomiting
+Even more herpes
+A specific hallucinogenic vision involving turtles
+An overwhelming sense of panic that the universe is disappearing before you, and that it's your fault
+Suicidal thoughts
+Death (you may need to have your next of kin contact your ductor if this side effect occurs)

Patients who use Spellebrex should not operate machinery or sneeze. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Spellebrex because it will really screw up the baby.

More than Ponies

2008-12-01T20:00:00.007-05:00

On a recent excursion through the miserable state of Kentucky, I noticed a sign, posted by said state, promoting the "Kentucky Bourbon Trail". My initial surprise that the sign was unrelated to ponies quickly turned to bewilderment when I contemplated the hypocrisy evident in the "Bourbon Trail" marketecture. On the one hand, Kentucky strictly forbids drinking and driving, on the other, the "Bourbon Trail" is little more than a bunch of hard liquor distilleries clustered along Interstate 64.

Furthermore, this ambiguity exists in the state that was the scene of the nation's worst drunk driving accident.

***

Subsequently, I visited the bourbon trail website and discovered the following logo:

Check it out, it's a cartoonish rendering of a couple bourbon barrels rolling down a highway. What an image!

Continued exploration of the website revealed the following:

That's right, a spelling error! The webmaster is probably loaded on bourbon!

Be careful citizens, the webmaster hops in an automobile and drives home around 5p...

What your brain does not want to admit

2008-11-25T21:00:00.002-05:00

Time does not move in a straight line, it turns corners.

Virtue

2008-11-23T17:00:00.000-05:00

UC Bearcats!

2008-11-22T20:00:00.018-05:00

I smell oranges!

Stuff from some of America's Cities

2008-11-17T17:00:00.004-05:00

Most of these are from Chicago...

Kunstler

2008-11-16T21:00:00.008-05:00

I've recently been hooked on the Jim Kunstler podcast. Here is one of my favorite "episodes".

***

In his book "The Geography of Nowhere" (1990), Jim altered me as profoundly as the film "Koyaanisqatsi" but with a much different message. I guess I would consider myself a disciple of his and I partially attribute "The Geography of Nowhere" with my unwillingness to move to the burbs and my reluctance to even visit the burbs, of Cincinnati or anywhere else, for that matter. As if the suburbs of Cincinnati were any different from anywhere else (the point of the book, duh).

A side note, Barack Obama's statement, "I'm not interested in the suburbs. The suburbs bore me." helps dull the pain of his recent victory.

***

Kunstler's blog (for my 21st century, computer literate, feed reader friends) is here. It far surpasses mine in terms of the ability to communicate the idea of how screwed up the world is right now.

No Bikes

2008-11-14T16:00:00.002-05:00

This sign must have been posted by GM, Ford, or Chrysler...

TW pays Bronson

2008-11-13T19:00:00.003-05:00

Funny you should ask that, Bronson. You see, I ditched cable around 5yrs ago when they raised my rate from $42/month to $50/month while simultaneously removing my favorite college basketball team's regional coverage from their lineup.

Now, here's a question for you- did you know that you kinda look like a lady?

I guess that's cool with me, as long as you throw strikes in 2009.

So much beauty

2008-11-10T18:00:00.006-05:00

Earth, you're not so bad (especially when you consider my options). So, I'd like to take a moment to recognize you.

I think you deserve a cookie.

Freeassociated Gush

2008-11-07T13:00:00.000-05:00

So, this guy sits down to make a blog entry. This guy really wants to make a blog entry but has nothing to write about. So he writes about being unable to write anything.

***
Man, it is just so hard to think of something to put in this blog entry. I really wanna make a blog entry right now, but can't think of anything to write about.

***
I rolled down to Camp Washington and bought 4 coneys with everything. I gave Rebecca $6.00 and about 10 minutes later, she produced the 4 horsemen, er, coneys. Anyway, Rebecca didn't charge me sales tax, which I thought was pretty cool.

I eat my coneys with a fork.

***
NO, No, nO, no! People don't want to read about some banal trip to pick up coneys. How is that blogworthy?

It's not, and face it- your blog has bigger problems. All you ever do is rant and rave about some minutiae or get worked up about the local football team. People don't want to read that stuff. People want to be happy and your stuff is either unhappy, unnecessary, or below standards.

Honestly, a blank webpage is preferable to the stuff thats getting posted. Or no webpage at all- even though people can't visit "no webpage at all". At least, though, you won't be pestering them with the "are you reading my blog?" question all the time. It annoys people and when you ask it, you're putting them in the position of having to say something mildly unpleasant.

"No, I'm not reading your blog.
I have no interest in what you write."
So don't even confront them with the question, it's making you unpopular.

***
People don't even get it, the majority of them don't know you ever even post anything, because they view blogs as plain old HTML instead of subscribing via feed reader, thereby missing the point entirely. In their world, web browsing is done proactively.

Is that it? Because you understand the feed as an application of XML, you feel superior to them? You can go around belittling these computer illiterates and as a result feel like a tough guy?

***
Hey if they don't like the blog entries, thats fine. Go ahead and put what you want up there. It's yours after all: SINGULARITY.

***
Those coneys were a bad decision, Rebecca. I know it's your job to sell coneys, but do you ever see someone roll in asking for coneys, and think to yourself, "this guy should not be eating coneys right now."

***
I loathe the phone more and more. People used to send letters via the pony express, or sometimes a dude would put a message in a bottle and throw the bottle into a body of water. It floated along for a little while and some other dude would find it halfway across the world when it washed ashore.

I remember the time I put a self addressed stamped envelope in a ziploc bag and tied it to a helium balloon. All the kids at school did it as part of a project. Well, my balloon landed in Knoxville, TN and some joker there sent me a letter back in my SASE.

So, communicating in print, thats just the way it was done. Then this Alexander Graham Bell guy shows up. He's managed to figure out how to transmit the human voice over a wire. Little did anyone know what an annoying little invention/discovery that would turn out to be.

Phones proliferated for a pretty good little while and then the DOD cooks up this computer network protocol and as a subset of it they create SMTP for e-mail messages.

Now, print is back and better than ever- for those that are literate anyway. Others cling to legacy voice and I've got to stay backwards compatible with them. Of course, the alternative is not to answer the phone, to insist on print communication. In effect, giving an ultimatum: communicate with me in print or not at all.

That type of thing gets the illiterates in a bad mood.

Stay in school.

***
Once upon a time, there was a lady that lived on a farm set back from a winding, country road. She was a Mexican and her name was "El Ball de Butter". THE END.

Maybe Next Year

2008-11-02T20:00:00.007-05:00

It's over. The hopes for an 0-16 Bengalberry season were ruined today by a Bengalberry victory over the Jacksonville Jaguars. An 0-16 season could have opened the door to the conclusion amongst the general population that Cincinnati needs a Bengalberryectomy. The conclusion that those of us on the "fringe" have already, and rightly, reached.

Thanks Jacksonville, you have crushed the dream.

The morons who purchase the Bengalberry tickets/gear are reveling. They believe something glorious has happened, that some great accomplishment has occurred. All over the riverfront today, they could be seen hootin and hollerin in their ridiculous ($$$) apparel, oblivious to fact that they have been swindled.

They do not represent the true Cincinnatian, who laments the swindle, who wishes it could be undone and who so desperately desires to see the franchise moved to Los Angeles.

Piling On the Record

2008-11-01T13:00:00.005-04:00

The Cliff Blog would like to express it's extreme outrage over the story of two UK students who hung an effigy of a presidential candidate on campus. The Cliff Blog is horrified, mortified, petrified, calcified, terrified, ossified, mystified, ready to ride, tie dyed and deepfried.

Furthermore, the incident is inappropriate, deplorable, horrendous, disgraceful, shocking, awful, despicable, inexcusable, shameful, reprehensible, disgusting, sickening, ugly, vile, appalling and, most of all, it violates the Cliff Blog's code of ethics. The Cliff Blog strongly condemns those responsible, and would like to note that UK has hired Judy J J Jackson as "VP for Institutional Diversity". Judy J J Jackson reports that UK has 341 African American students already, which is outstanding.

Let's hope that in her capacity at the University, Judy J J Jackson can keep these sort of shenanigans from happening again. Go JUDY!

***
Outrageous and offensive actions, such as those occurring at UK, do not represent the Cliff Blog. The Cliff Blog celebrates diversity on a daily basis and joins UK President Lee Todd and KY Governor Steve Beshear in denouncing this atrocity.

But now, a time for healing must begin. After extended meditation, prayers for the world, and fueled by a desire to help lead us all forward, the Cliff Blog has developed the following graphic to help begin the healing process:

I know, I know- it's beautiful *sniffle*. Sometimes a picture can convey so much more.

This graphic is Cliff Blog's gift to the world. It is also offered as a starting point for UK President Lee Todd, KY Governor Steve Beshear, and UK VP for Institutional Diversity Judy J J Jackson. The Cliff Blog strongly recommends this image as an icon for unity on campus. It should be reprinted liberally, and posted throughout the community. It will remind everyone to celebrate diversity and to heal in this difficult time.

Peace and Unity to all...

Crazy 8

2008-10-27T09:00:00.004-04:00

In 1986, Bon Jovi released their "Slippery When Wet" album. The second song from that album was "Livin on a Prayer" which contained the lyrics-

O we're halfway there,
O we're livin on a prayer

It's almost as if the band had a vision about the 2008 Bengalberries. At this point, they stand at 0-8 in a quest for 0-16, halfway there!

Some good things have been happening down at the Bengalberry palace.

First of all, the head drunk, Chris Henry has returned to the fold. This can only help in the 0-16 quest. Reports are that, at times, Mr. Henry sees more than one football due to his inebriation.

Secondly, it seems the Bengalberry quarterback has been removed from contention for the remainder of the season. This is excellent news. Carson Palmer appears to have some circuits firing at times- even enough circuits to pull out a "W" and ruin the season.

Thirdly, the Bengalberries lost to the Texans. This is great news! This was one of the games on the schedule that you looked at and thought, "how are they going to lose that one?" Well, they did it! Fantastic!

Finally, as we look at the second half of the season, the final game seems to present a problem. It is against the KC Chiefs, who are pretty bad. If the Bengalberries enter that game at 0-15, the pressure will be on.

So, from Birthright Mikey's point of view,

We've got to hold on to what we've got
Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we win it or not
We've got public dough, and thats a lot.

Somebody pour Chris Henry a shot

O we're halfway there,
O we're livin on a prayer,
O we don't care

Stationary Menace

2008-10-21T20:00:00.000-04:00

Stationary bike, you sit there. You offer fitness, sure, but you don't offer it in a "fun" way like the road. No, yours is a silent malevolence. From your corner of the home, passively, you taunt.

You taunt with a web of misery, spun with coldness, darkness, ridiculous heating bills, and worst of all- the silly season.

You will get your 500 miles this winter. But, the Opening Day parade will come again, and a butterfly will spread it's wings and fly (ride). On that glorious occasion you will be forgotten, without an iota of guilt.

Until then, disdain and contempt are yours.

22 discs

2008-10-12T11:00:00.003-04:00

Sex Pistols (1977)

Joy Division- Unknown Pleasures (1979)

The Cure- Faith (1981)

New Order- Movement (1981)

Metallica- ...And Justice For All (1988)

Bauhaus- The Sky's Gone Out (1989)

Peter Gabriel- Passion (1989)

Big Audio Dynamite- The Globe (1991)

Pixies- Trompe Le Monde (1991)

Helmet- Meantime (1992)

Sublime- 40oz to Freedom (1992)

Front 242- 05:22:09:12:Off (1993)

Soul Coughing- Ruby Vroom (1994)

Filter- Short Bus (1995)

Patrick OHearn- Metaphor (1996)

Portishead- Portishead (1997)

Radiohead- OK Computer (1997)

Doves- Lost Souls (2000)

The Shins- Oh, Inverted World (2001)

Q and not U- Different Damage (2002)

Snow Patrol- Final Straw (2004)

Interpol- Antics (2005)

White Stripes- Get Behind Me Satan (2005)

Dallas

2008-10-05T09:00:00.000-04:00

This week's answer to the burning query- "Who Dey?"

Windstorm Doggie

2008-09-30T22:00:00.000-04:00

During the "Hurricane Ike" windstorm from a couple weeks ago, a friend shot this photo:

If you can't laugh at that, you must have carpet on your heart.

So long, Fast Eddie

2008-09-27T13:00:00.000-04:00

Film will never be the same without you...

Who Dey?

2008-09-24T17:00:00.001-04:00

This time of year, the sheeple following the Cincinnati Bengalberries can often be heard asking the question, "Who Dey?"

It seems the answer- "just about every football team past, present, and future" is not adequate, the question persists. Therefore, a more specific, and graphical representation (some of our Bengalberry friends have difficulty reading) will be employed here.

"Dey" currently are:

C'mon Brownies! Give number 4 will ya? Theres a lot of losing left for this season.

Perfection

2008-09-20T01:00:00.002-04:00

An article referencing Tom Browning's perfect game can be found here. Near the end of the article, Tom Browning addresses the subject of how many people were in the stands after the 2hour 27minute rain delay.

***

Tom, there weren't many, but I can name four:

Akbar Hasan, Blaine Ott, Dan Hall, and one of their 18yr old buddies who had driven them from Lexington to Cincinnati that night and from time to time makes blog entrys here.

So, thanks, cause that was a really cool thing to see.

1984

2008-09-17T22:00:00.001-04:00

Recently completed reading George Orwell's classic, "1984". This book is prophetic, scary, and provocative wrapped up in a big ball. Some favorite passages:

"No emotion was pure, because everything was mixed up with fear and hatred. [Winston and Julia's] embrace had been a battle, the climax a victory. It was a blow struck against the Party. It was a political act."

***

"[People incapable of understanding] could be made to accept the most flagrant violations of reality, because they never fully grasped the enormity of what was demanded of them, and were not sufficiently interested in public events to notice what was happening. By lack of understanding they remained sane. They simply swallowed everything, and what they swallowed did them no harm, because it left no residue behind, just as a grain of corn will pass undigested through the body of a bird."

***

"One did not know what happened inside the Ministry of Love, but it was possible to guess: tortures, drugs, delicate instruments that registered your nervous reactions, gradual wearing down by sleeplessness and solitude and persistent questioning. Facts, at any rate, could not be kept hidden. They could be tracked down by inquiry, they could be squeezed out of you by torture. But if the object was not to stay alive but to stay human, what difference did it ultimately make? They could not alter your feelings; for that matter you could not alter them yourself, even if you wanted to. They could lay bare in the utmost detail everything that you had done or said or thought; but the inner heart, whose workings were mysterious even to yourself, remained impregnable."

***

"The fallacy was obvious. It presupposed that somewhere or other, outside oneself, there was a 'real' world where 'real' things happened. But how could there be such a world? What knowledge have we of anything, save through our own minds? All happenings are in the mind. Whatever happens in all minds, truly happens."

***

"They would have blown his brain to pieces before they could reclaim it. The heretical thought would be unpunished, unrepented, out of their reach forever. They would have blown a hole in their own perfection. To die hating them, that was freedom."

The beginning of sport's most pristine GOOSE EGG

2008-09-08T11:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, the Cincinnati Bengalberries took the field. To Cliff Blog's great delight, the Bengalberries posted another of their infamous "L"s. This puts the current season record at 0 Wins and 1 Loss.

To make that point crystal clear, here's how many wins the Bengalberries have:

Fifteen more losses, and this team will have reached a MAJOR milestone. A goal never attained in an NFL season- the 0-16 record! After this achievement, they will take their place as the worst professional sports franchise EVER.

C'mon Bengalberries! That first loss was critical, but you've got a lot more losing to do! The tone is set, so don't go screwing this up too!

Wrigley Field Grounds Crew: Hello!

2008-09-03T19:00:00.002-04:00

A classic Wrigley Field moment occurred yesterday:

***

This was an embedded video of a Major League Baseball play. Why MLB would issue a take down notice to a video on Youtube is a subject of great mystery.

Couldn't it be possible that someone browsing the Internet, or subscribed to a blog, would come across an entry such as this, and think, "Gee that looks fun. I think I'll go to the game in my town tonight."

But no: the insular attitudes at baseball's highest levels have prevailed again. No more MLB on Youtube, and before that, no more free streaming audio of MLB broadcasts, and before that, the ridiculous "home market" blackouts, and on and on.

The clowns in charge of MLB are extremely fortunate that they have the greatest game. No matter how hard they try to screw it up with steroids or the designated hitter, we're allured by the baseball game because of it's intricacies, it's time of year, and it's settings.

The spirit of service

2008-08-29T13:00:00.002-04:00

Last night, at the beginning of his acceptance speech, Barack Obama thanked several of the DNC's figureheads. Of one of those figureheads, he said the following:

"...to Ted Kennedy, who embodies the spirit of service"

Would Mary Jo Kopechne concur with this viewpoint? If so, the events of July 18, 1969 must have gone something like this:

Mary Jo Kopechne: "Ted, I'd like to die tonight."
Ted Kennedy: "Well Mary Jo, in the 'spirit of service' I will crash this car into the nearest tidal waters and leave you to drown! I'm a 'spirit of service' kinda guy!"

Winkie's Dream

2008-08-27T15:00:00.000-04:00

Fantastic scene:

Beijing, you're very clever

2008-08-17T23:00:00.002-04:00

Hello, China! We have learned how to pronounce the name of your one horse town- Beijing. We get it. You're very clever.

Now, here's something for you to learn for 2016:

IPA: /Chiˈcaːgo/

Put down your chopsticks, its time for the stuffed crust...

Upside Down Under

2008-08-09T08:00:00.006-04:00

Eight

2008-08-08T08:00:00.012-04:00

8
8
8

Destiny in Battle Creek

2008-08-06T08:00:00.003-04:00

Recently, Barack Hussein Obama gave another one of his electrifying speeches- this time in Battle Creek, MI. He was no doubt catering to the sugar cereal lobby during the speech. The Cliff Blog has obtained a transcript of the speech and it is reprinted here:

"Heeeelllooooooo! Cereal City!"

crowd applauds wildly- 90sec

"Ladies and gentlemen of Battle Creek- I come to you tonight to report things are not well in our great country. That the economy is a shambles, that costs are up, and that some people are finicky eaters.

"This is the bad news, but I want to assure you, that together, we can take the steps necessary and enact change in our great country.

crowd applauds- 30sec

"It starts with ending our dependence on food groups such as 'fried', 'cheese', and 'sugar cereals'. All of us, need to reach out, and try new flavors and textures.

"For instance, I met a man in Birmingham, Obama, er, Alabama that wouldn't eat anything green (except for a bowl of Green Apple PebblyPuffs) and he adamantly said to me:

'If it's not a bowl of sugar cereal, or it doesn't go "moo moo" or "oink oink" I ain't eating it!'

"This same man professed his love for Sugar Smacks, CoCo Crispberrycruchies, and Choco-Marshmallowarifics- all produced here, in Battle Creek. He also mentioned consuming copious volumes of Cheetos and incidentally, he was around 5'10" and weighed 350lbs.

crowd becomes restless

"My opponent knows this exact same truth: that the junk food diet of the USA is killing us. But, his solution is to close down Battle Creek. To close the Frosted Diddlies factory, to close the Fruity Nut Explosions plant, and finally, to kill Count Chocula himself!

crowd boos

"But, citizens of Battle Creek, Michigan- I stand before you to report that this approach is not the answer. That my opponent is misguided and wrong.

crowd's ears perk up

"No, Battle Creek, I want to retrain the sugar cereal industry here, creating vouchers for retraining programs! We can put people to work and create jobs right here in Battle Creek! People can work to create foods that Americans will have to try if we're going to end our dependence on food groups such as 'fried', 'cheese', and 'sugar cereals'!

crowd senses a handout and begins cheering again

"The citizens of Battle Creek are too intelligent and can work producing flavorful dishes such as sushi and side items such as steamed broccoli! That the citizens of Battle Creek can create minced onion, the building blocks for Thai food, and spinach for the stuffed crust pies of Chicago, Illinois! Which, by the way, is a redneck town filled with a bunch of losers.

crowd applauds wildly- 60sec

"The production costs for a box of Jelly Booberries are eight times the costs for a decent priced Indian buffet. Someone has to supply all those Indian Buffets with the raw materials for Chicken Vindaloo. You, Battle Creek, Michigan can supply those Indian Buffets after the United States helps you understand what a curry is!

crowd applauds wildly, whistling, chanting- 90sec

"So, to you, citizens of Battle Creek, I say 'Let's change! Let's fight! and Let's take back the American stool!'

"Thank you, and good night!"

crowd goes coo coo for cocoa puffs, women faint, men salute- 5min

Tonight on the Beaner Network...

2008-07-30T17:00:00.012-04:00

Be sure to tune in for an exciting evening of programming on the Beaner Network:

19:00 "Debits"

Join hostess Allison Telford-Machinette for an exploration of the fascinating world of debits.

20:00 "Credits"

Join host Johnny Ricardo for a scintillating examination of the world of credits. Filmed before a live studio audience!

21:00 "General Ledger"

The critically acclaimed drama in it's 70th season. A must see.

22:00 "Beaner Smackdown"

Hand to hand combat between some of America's most vicious tax accountants and auditors.

23:00 "Balancing and Totaling"

Finish your evening with a round table discussion on today's cutting edge balancing and totaling techniques. Past topics have included:

+"Adding Machines"
+"March and April are a drag"
+"Looks like a Breach of Fiduciary Duty to me!"
+"Mortgages: Whoops!"
+"E-filing: making confiscation easy"
+"The evils of cash transactions" and,
+"Bengalberry Palace/Red Ink: Clifton, we have a problem"

Another paradox of adulthood

2008-07-26T13:00:00.001-04:00

When I go to the store, I keep forgetting to pick up my memory pills.

Bubbles

2008-07-25T20:00:00.004-04:00

The boom and bust cycle presently has the US economy in a bust. This time it's the "subprime mortgage crisis". Oh no! a "subprime mortgage crisis"! We're all gonna die!

The truth is, these booms and busts come and they go. The bubble before this one was the "internet/venture capital crisis". What happens is, a good idea comes around, but buying into the idea gets out of control.

That doesn't mean I'm too happy with letting the subprimers off the hook, while I continue to honor the deal I made with the bank...oh well.

In any event, the Internet was/is a great innovation. Home ownership was/is a great source of wealth. That shouldn't lead to the mania seen in both booms and busts. The problems started when the charlatans got in on the act. Anyone that got burned by them has only themselves to blame.

But a charlatan stays on the move, and he already is laying the foundation for the next bubble. Want to know what it is?

The "green" bubble.

***

A graphical representation of recent bubbles might look like this:

Internet (2000) ---> Mortgage (2007) ---> Green (2014?)

We're going to lower our expenses so much by going green! Buy, buy, buy!

Again, going green is generally a good idea. Do it where appropriate, but don't fret when that bubble goes by the boards too, in around 5- 7 years.

***

A charlatan has to say one step ahead. A good charlatan is probably already working on plans for just after the "green crisis".

But, he will be hard pressed to avoid "THE BIG ONE". The mother of all bubbles, which has been building for generations and will be the ultimate financial collapse-

The Social Security Bubble

Thank You to the framers for creating one of the greatest societies the planet has ever known. But, even your great wisdom could not see this far into the future:

To the robber barons who eventually found a small crack,
Patted each other on the back,
And ruined it for everyone.

Have a nice day.

Chocolate Chip Books

2008-07-23T20:00:00.004-04:00

For this recipe, you will need:

5 parts inflated expenses
2 parts hidden revenue
Sugar
Butter
Chocolate Chips

Mix together all ingredients. Using a tablespoon, scoop out as many servings as you like onto a cooking sheet. Cook the Books at 350 for a half hour.

Viola! Golden Brown dough in your bank account.

Boyfriends

2008-07-22T21:00:00.000-04:00

Wow! I didn't realize it had gotten this bad in the world of Bengalberrydom.

You know you want to lay that goose egg (0-16) Bengalberries.

Wipeout!

2008-07-16T15:00:00.002-04:00

In 2007, at the Miss Universe pageant, Miss USA slipped and fell during the evening gown competition:

In an extreme case of deja vu, it happened again in 2008!

The contestants must be thinking, "Crap! I'll never win now!" But, they have to act like, "That didn't happen, nobody saw that."

For the average Joe (blogger) the expressions and actions following the slips are hard to watch. The slips themselves are hysterical.

Silversun Pickups- Lazy Eye

2008-07-12T23:00:00.003-04:00

A new favorite song

It seems the Pumpkins have been out-Pumpkined

King of Pain

2008-07-11T20:00:00.001-04:00

A malevolent supernatural descends. The supernatural is pain, and it's goal is to manifest itself in the flesh of mankind, individually and collectively. It is looking for an opening.

It swirls and rushes, like the winds themselves, throughout what mankind can perceive of his universe. Until it finds an opening- a small negligence here or decrepitude there.

Small negligence, a thin layer of silt scattered on Rose St. A bicyclist had better not turn here, all friction will be lost and, like that, a large portion of skin is removed. Removed for several layers, exposing live tissue to the air. Pain reveals itself.

Decrepitude, such as receding gums. The periosadist awaits and inflicts his own brand. He is a tool for pain.

The winds rush on, and pain reveals yet another tactic, that of the freakish. *Snap* and ankle in rehab.

At one time, left and right podiatry, now replaced by left and right crutches, accompanied by the malevolent supernatural known as pain (unwelcome visitor).

KY rebrands

2008-07-08T18:00:00.005-04:00

From a recent speech by Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear:

"Citizens of the Commonwealth, we have got to do something about all these ponies all over the place. We've put the pony on the KY quarter, we've put the pony on the license plates, we've painted pony murals throughout our great commonwealth, we've built the pony park, commissioned statues of ponies, and we have the pony games.

"I mean, let's face it, the derby is only 2minutes long! And it goes down in a one horse town!

"What's next? Are we going to put Mr. Ed on the state flag?

"But seriously, the rest of the country is beginning to think our state IS a one trick pony. So, it's time to pony up and play on some of our other notorieties.

"Therefore, I unilaterally announce the changing of our license plates, beginning in 2009:

"Let freedom ring! If you don't like 2nd hand smoke, don't go out in KY! It's all about freedom!

"Thank you *cough cough* and goodnight."

Bottle Rocket

2008-07-07T20:00:00.001-04:00

Where do bad folks go when they die?
They don't go to heaven where the angels fly,
They go to a lake of fire and they fry.
See 'em again on the 4th of July...
-Nirvana

Halfway

2008-06-22T09:00:00.001-04:00

2008 in 2008:

0-16

2008-06-21T23:00:00.000-04:00

The 2008 NFL season does not look good for the Cincinnati Bengalberries. But, let's face it, no upcoming season ever looks good for these morons.

Here's hoping the Bengalberries can achieve a milestone never before realized in the NFL- 0 Wins and 16 Losses. The most pristine goose egg sport will have ever seen.

0%

GO FOR IT!

Eeek!

2008-06-15T22:00:00.000-04:00

An electrical storm over the cliff:

Roadtrips

2008-06-13T23:00:00.007-04:00

Rating an area can be difficult. Sometimes a fantastic area is ruined by bad luck/bad roadtrip. This map attempts to take that into account, and provides ratings based on the overall quality. "Overall quality" is vague, but can include: amount of fun, food, sports teams, food, transit options, food, architecture, and "vibe".

A+ to Chicago, Las Vegas, NYC

F to Raleigh/Durham, Orlando, St. Louis

Joe Nuxhall Way

2008-06-10T23:00:00.001-04:00

On Joe Nuxhall night, with Pete Rose in the house, the Reds put up another 'L'.

Weezer Brings Back the Music Video

2008-06-03T17:00:00.003-04:00

UPDATE: no embed allowed for this video anymore- but the lyrics of the tune profess to be "fine and dandy with the inside"...whatever...

I want my...

I want my MTV

Ohio's Scarlet Letter and Bengalberries

2008-06-02T20:00:00.000-04:00

Ohio DUI tags with a Bengalberry cover:

Coincidence? No: Cause & Effect.

Generica the Hideous

2008-05-29T22:00:00.016-04:00

O hideous flourescent signs,
For "add another lane",
For architectural tragedies
Across the strip mall plain!

Generica! Generica!
God turns His face from thee,
And crowns thy bad with waste, called gas
From cheese to Mickey D's!

Shame of the Nation

2008-05-28T11:00:00.000-04:00

Time for a list-

"Largest Per Capita Carbon Footprint" according to a study by the Brookings Institute:

1. Lexington-Fayette County.
2. Indianapolis.
3. Cincinnati-Middletown (Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana).
4. Toledo.
5. Louisville (Kentucky-Indiana).
6. Nashville-Davidson-Murfreesboro, Tenn.
7. St. Louis.
8. Oklahoma City.
9. Harrisburg-Carlisle, Pa.
10. Knoxville, Tenn.

Many of the variables leading to any given area's ranking are beyond it's control. However, other variables are clearly under the area's control- primarily, automobile emissions.

4 of the top 5 areas are within a 100mi radius, centered on Cincinnati.

This is appalling and shameful. Us MORONS must be the laughing stock of the country today...and Al Qaeda has probably put us on their MVP list. I can hear UBL now, "Burn that petro, Ohio Valley! Hang yourself in that heavy metal stew!"

The Cliff Blog sincerely apologizes to the rest of the United States for our screwed up way of life here. We are truly pathetic.

Take Me Out to the Ghetto...

2008-05-27T07:00:00.001-04:00

Take me out to the Ghetto...
Take me out to the slums.

Buy me some rounds and a bag of crack,
I don't think I'll be making it back!

For it's shoot, shoot, shoot at the gangstas,
Cause they hunt me like game!

And it's one, two, three shots you're dead,
In Crackton, USA!

A Reds Fan Gets Miffed

2008-05-26T20:00:00.000-04:00

The nonsense relative to personnel that is going on in the Reds outfield this Spring has culminated this evening with the Jay Bruce start. Jay Bruce, called up from AAA Louisville yesterday, may be a fantastic player. But, does that mean he starts in centerfield for the Major League club? Over Ryan Freel?

Seems like when Ryan Freel is in the lineup, he makes something good happen with his hustle. His onbase percentage the past three seasons is .371, .363, & .308. So, bumping him for the rookie is bad enough.

But, the shenanigans don't stop there! The manager, Dusty Baker, SERIOUSLY upset the apple cart when he brought his Chicago retreads to town. Hairston and Bako haven't been that bad on the field, Patterson has been despicable. All three retreads have taken playing time from deserving guys that have paid their dues in the Reds' organization, like Norris Hopper, Javier Valentin, and (again) Ryan Freel.

Bumping guys who deserve to play? What has that done to morale? Destroyed it, thats what.

Finally, the bookends- Adam DUM and Griffey Jr. In Junior's case, he has given a legitimate effort and has been the victim of some bad luck. But, with this glut of outfielders, did signing Adam DUM on for a $13 million season make any sense?

The answer: NO. As a matter of fact, none of this makes any sense and the Reds will not be winning many games because of it. What a trainwreck!

Rain

2008-05-16T13:00:00.000-04:00

Alot of rain this spring...

periosadist

2008-05-13T22:00:00.003-04:00

periosadist \'per-ē-ō-sād,sad-əst\ n, pl -s (2008) 1 : a person who obtains advanced credentialing in the field of periodontology in order to inflict great physical pain on others for gratification

usage:

"That periosadist took all my money, hacked my gums to bits, and now I can't chew my food!"

"Ever since that periosadist got through with me, I have to take my meals through a straw!"

The Bengalberries are up to something

2008-05-05T17:00:00.010-04:00

This photo, shot earlier today, clearly shows the beginning of some sort of project in the Bengalberry practice area.

We have already built the Bengalberries a natural turf practice field, as well as a synthetic one. These different surfaces are supposed to help the Bengalberries prepare for any given week's opponent. Theoretically, if they're going on the road to play on a natural turf field, then they would practice on their natural turf practice field. We were sold this logic along with the Bengalberry stadium itself, under the guise that it would make the Bengalberries more competitive.

They also have their main field, inside the Bengalberry stadium. So, that's THREE total "gridirons" we have built for the Bengalberries. Could the construction in the photo be a FOURTH? Probably not, but with the County/Bengalberry lovefest in place, anything is possible.

Or, could it be some sort of Bengalberry detention center? For instance, if the police find a drunk Bengalberry up to his usual shenanigans, maybe he would be incarcerated here in this future facility? A shelter for wayward Bengalberries? Where they are rehabbed and then released back into the wild?

Or, could it be some sort of mansion for Bob Bengalhaus? Bob doesn't like his commute, the gasoline is killing him, so he'll just live in this detached palace and work in the main palace.

Or, maybe it's some sort of Bengalberry food court?

Or, could it be a Bengalberry brewery? This is the odds on favorite...neither the Miller nor the Budweiser breweries can reach the production/delivery levels required to keep up with the consumption of the Bengalberries. Therefore, if we establish a Bengalberry Microbrewery on the premises, we eliminate a large part of the logistical nightmare of getting the Bengalberries their beer.

At the Microbrewery Bengalberries can choose from:
+Big Bad Bengalberry Ale
+Bengalberry Booty Light
+Bengalberry Brown Clown
+RasBengalberry Tootie Frootie Genuine Draft
+and the best seller, Bengalberry Malt Liquor (Chris Henry testimonial, "Works everytime- throws up smooth...")

Semantics of a Mix CD

2008-04-26T23:00:00.000-04:00

Everyone makes a Mix CD (legacy audio) on their own terms. Here are cliff blog's guidelines:

+No artist shall appear twice on a Mix CD
+Artists are typically arranged in alphabetical order, but this is not required. Sometimes, order matters.
+Mix CDs shall have titles

As an example, cliff blog's latest Mix CD:

"Earth Day in a Parking Lot"*

01 David Gray- Please Forgive Me
02 Peter Murphy- You're So Close (this is the Bauhaus guy)
03 Portishead- The Rip
04 Front 242- Gripped By Fear
05 Joy Division- A Means To An End
06 James- Five O
07 Shins- New Slang
08 LCD Soundsystem- North American Scum
09 Arcade Fire- In The Backseat
10 Dinosaur Jr- Feel The Pain
11 Moby- Im Not Worried At All
12 Yes- Owner Of A Lonely Heart

How cool is open source?

2008-04-25T11:00:00.007-04:00

An old computer joke goes like this:

"There are 10 types of people: those that understand binary, and those that do not."

Funny stuff, a variation on that joke could go like this:

"There are 10 ways to do things: the open source way and the wrong way."

***
A strange thing happened when Linksys built their WRT54G WAP/Gateway/Firewall on a Linux kernel- the community held their legal feet to the legal fire of the General Public License. Linksys was forced to release the sourcecode for the unit! This, in turn, led to open sourced firmwares being developed for it. You can put any one of numerous firmwares on this model of hardware. Afterward, you're no longer limited by what the folks at Linksys will allow you to do.

Outstanding!

So, check out this screenshot of OpenWRT's Kamikaze 7.09 running on a WRT54G-

Does your proprietary OS give you drink recipes out of the box? No way!

A more robust OS with a sense of humor? You can't beat that!

BS

2008-04-20T20:00:00.006-04:00

The letters "BS" can stand for many things. But, for the purpose of this blog entry, the letters stand for:

Bariatric Surgery

***

This evening, 60minutes ran as usual. The program's 2nd story was with regard to how great! BS is. Dissenting opinion during the piece was minimal at best- limited to one doctor who made the statement that, "Most BS patients go from being obese to simply overweight."

After that, it was on with the fluff: BS can cure Diabetes! BS can cure most types of cancer! BS is what you want! Just can't get enough of that BS!

To top it all off, after the piece ended, CBS ran a commercial for Kentucky Fried Chicken. The commercial firmly cemented the fundamental concepts of BS for all viewers. Across this great nation of consumption, sedentarians simultaneously reached for a bag of pork rinds as they reached a bag of BS conclusions. Those conclusions are postulated here:

+Cease/Do not aspire to any sort of workout routine
+Establish/continue a couch potato/suburban lifestyle
+Start/continue eating copious amounts of "gas station" food

These three simple steps will have viewers on the road to obesity quickly. They will become eligible for BS! And after the BS on 60minutes about the BS, they can reach a level of BS never before imagined. Hallelujah BS!

Why be surprised by this? 60minutes is a TV show after all...and TV is critical to a sedentarian's BS logic.

Achieving this level of BS is somewhat akin to becoming a deity.

***

Thank you, Leslie Stahl, for laying all this BS out there for the Sheeple (Bengalberry and otherwise) of the United States of Dumerica. You've justified our "culture".

At best, the piece was irresponsible- in actuality, it was BS.

Yankee Stadium

2008-04-19T23:00:00.002-04:00

On this webpage a sportswriter lists some fantastic events that have occurred at Yankee stadium. It's really not even worth clicking the link, baseball fans all know about "the house that Ruth built."

I was fortunate enough to attend a game at Yankee Stadium one year ago today (Thanks Grandma). My mother and I took a subway train from Manhattan to the Bronx and witnessed a great Yankee Stadium moment-

When the Yankees came to bat in the bottom of the 9th, they were losing to Cleveland 6- 2. About a half hour later, A-Rod's walkoff homer made it a New York 8- 6 victory. I'll never forget when the stadium PA system cranked up Old Blue Eyes, "Start spreading the news/I'm leaving today/I want to be a part of it/New York New York."

***

If you haven't been to Yankee Stadium then take my word for it, the place has all kinds of cachet. The new stadium is doomed to be known as it's surrogate. Therefore, it [was] a bad idea.

Until you factor in Mr. Steinbrenner and the $$$.

Glad to say I saw a game there...too bad about the greed.

Portishead is Back!

2008-04-19T11:00:00.003-04:00

Wow! Just got done listening to the newest Portishead disc. After a 10yr absence, the trio (Beth Gibbons, Adrian Utley, and Geoff Barrow) have returned.

And return they did! A fantastic disc that does not disappoint. It would have been easy to release some garbage, and take the money- leaving relevance and innovation on the table.

However, the effort on this disc, "Third" as they titled it, is not lacking. The textures and complexities of the first two discs continue into this one.

Portishead, thank you for working so hard to get this right. It is well worth the wait.

A Bengalberry Meditation

2008-04-04T06:00:00.002-04:00

Bengalberry Bengalberry
You seem a little harried,
My dear Bengalberry.

Bengalberry Bengalberry
You're so very contrary,
My dear Bengalberry...

Bengalberry Bengalberry
Your devoted, tailgating morons
Are what's really scary...

ugh

Career Change

2008-03-30T14:00:00.001-04:00

If you know me, then you know I've been working computer/network administration for a looong time. It has been rewarding, challenging, and fun, amongst other things.

But, it has also become mundane and repetitive. I haven't told anyone, but earlier this year, I applied for a position with Feld Entertainment, located in Vienna, VA, after reading this webpage. Feld is primarily known for producing the Ringling Bros. & Barnum and Bailey circus.

Well, Feld accepted my application and has placed me in a position where I will work closely with the pachyderms.

Feld has also assured me that, in my new position with them, I will have no responsibilities with their IT infrastructure. This was a critical piece to the negotiations. I absolutely DO NOT want to have anything to do with computers anymore.

So, thank you to everyone who has supported me in my *former* career. I start with Feld on May 1 with a road trip to Scranton, PA.

I'm joining the circus!

Mudslide!

2008-03-19T20:00:00.001-04:00

The cliff gave way last night:

Chocolate Easter Bunnies

2008-03-15T09:50:00.002-04:00

We Have A Winner

2008-03-15T00:00:00.001-04:00

The winning comment came from "beach" and is reprinted here:

"Finally, as a mathemagician, I recognize that 3/14 at 1:59 is a tricky way of hiding your love of math. The circumference of a circle is pi times its diameter. Pi, an irrational number, is approximated to 5 decimal points as: 3.14159."

"beach" has won a Skyline Chili Giftcard. He has a killer blog, located here: beach

Timestamp Fun

2008-03-14T13:59:00.000-04:00

Comment on this blog entry with the meaning of it's time stamp. If you are first, and you care to identify yourself, you will receive a prize in the snail.

A Generation and it's Rockstar Paradox

2008-03-09T10:00:00.002-04:00

Consider this image:

Clearly, these "rock and rollers" are past their prime. However, they're still able to turn *more than* a decent buck playing rock and roll.

...thats odd.

Keith Richards has donned some haberdashery for this photo. Ron Wood isn't showing his dentures (some of the others in the photograph should not have shown their dentures either). We're left to assume balding and tooth decay have occurred.

This assumption is not a stretch, we're all getting older afterall. Heres hoping Keith Richards and Ron Wood manage balding and tooth decay at the highest levels.

Some of my favorite people are bald.

You always want to pay a compliment before you tear into someone or a group of someones. Cliff Blog has done it's best in this endeavor.

***

Balding and tooth decay are not the problem here, it happens, and with no discrimination.

No, The Rolling Stones are exemplary of a much deeper problem, that being the baby boomers' reluctance to "move on". Unfortunately, Grace Slick was dead on when she told VH-1's "Behind the Music" that, "all rock-and-rollers over the age of 50 look stupid and should retire."*

It's true.

C'mon baby boomers, aren't you happy enough with the mark your generation left on society? Zoning and bankruptcy...Time to leave the stage.

An Old Friend "Hangs Up"

2008-03-06T15:00:00.001-05:00

No Country for Old Men

2008-03-03T11:00:00.002-05:00

***SPOILER ALERT***

Much has been written online about 2007's Best Picture, "No Country for Old Men". Although that volume is quite thorough, some thoughts on the film are offered here:

+The US/Mexico border is a living entity. More specifically, it is a monster. A monster Sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) cannot understand.+Sheriff Ed Tom Bell is THE ONLY character in the film that recognizes this supernatural, evil monster. Although he doesn't understand it, he DOES understand two things about it:
1. The monster needs humans to sustain itself. It consumes human beings as fuel.
2. Like any predatory creature, maybe if you leave it alone, it will leave you alone.
+These points are made clear during the scene in El Paso. Sheriff Bell essentially comes face to face with the monster. Walking away is his admission that he cannot stop this evil, supernatural force.
+His admission is that of a singular man. In his mind, it is acceptable to succumb to Darwin, opt for "self preservation" and avoid the predator.
+In it's ephemeral, human form, the monster takes the form of Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem). Once it has wasted him, it will take another human form. It only needs human form to accomplish it's objectives.
+At it's core, and generally, the monster represents entropy: that from order will come chaos and vice versa. Presently, it's pendulum is swinging from order to chaos, and it has chosen the Texas border with Mexico to manifest itself.

This film was a solid A. It is the Best Best Picture since "Rain Man".

An Extra Day in a Bad Month

2008-02-29T02:40:00.004-05:00

Goodbye February...not a fan.

Things Going Wrong...

2008-02-27T09:00:00.001-05:00

Headlines Britney!

2008-02-26T22:30:00.002-05:00

If you're able to cut through the nonsense in the press these days, you may find yourself reading the following, from an AP article, as I did:

"I can say that through the concert tonight, all the members of the New York Philharmonic opened the hearts of the [North] Korean people," Song Sok Hwan told the orchestra. The concert, he said at a banquet, "serves as an important occasion to open a chapter of mutual understanding between the two countries."

Performing on a stage flanked by the U.S. and North Korean flags, the Philharmonic played the North Korean national anthem, "Patriotic Song," following by "The Star-Spangled Banner." The audience stood respectfully and held their applause until both had been performed.

***

Say what? The New York Philharmonic played the Star Spangled Banner in North Korea?

Does ANYONE think this is HUGE?

Or, were we just too wrapped up in the Oscars to notice?

***

Long Road

2008-02-26T20:00:00.000-05:00